What do you think true love really is?

• After a lifetime, I think I am finally figuring it out. My wife and I are both in our 70s, both in bad health, struggling just to get by financially. Life has definitely not been a fairytale, a "happily ever after" sort of thing. We both are right now dealing with bad colds and not in the best of moods. Last night we were sitting on our sofa, bundled under blankets, not really watching whatever was on the television, when I looked around our cluttered living room with all of its flotsam of these two lives of ours, and felt incredibly depressed. I told her, "You know, I never expected that this would be our life together; I really wanted to do better, to have more for us. I'm sorry this is how it's turned out to be. I wish I could have given you the best." Her eyes were closed; I looked at her, this wife of mine for over four decades, and could see she wasn't feeling well at all, could see this face that was a beauty when I married it, now aged like parchment and lined from worry, fatigue, and a very hard life. You should have seen her back then! She was radiant---that's the only word I can think of to describe her. She was so beautiful, I'm amazed that she didn't have suitors crawling in her windows; her dark eyes were like glittering crystals, and that smile! You could see the flowers literally pale when she smiled. She was so full of hope those days, so ready to tackle anything, vigorous, young, excited about the life we were starting as a team, as a couple, "Mr. & Mrs....." Without opening her eyes, she slowly smiled, and there was a little faint glimmer of what once was, that confident beauty that made me believe in us, made me believe in myself. All she quietly said was, "I chose my life, I chose you. I know I made the right choice", and patted my hand. I sat looking at that gnarled, careworn hand patting my own, and knew that this was love. This is a woman who signed on "for richer or poorer", and only received *poorer*, who signed on for "in sickness and in health", and received more sickness--her own, and others--than health, who never got the chance to be that person in the romance, that person in the fairytale, that person who "lived happily ever after." This is a woman who struggled with me to make ends meet, who did without because she had a husband cursed with health problems and consequently little money. This is a woman who felt the crushing sorrow of losing a child, seemingly aging two decades overnight, a time when we both were consumed with such wrenching pain that we could find no comfort in one another, a time when we considered going our own ways because to look at each other was only a searing reminder of the enormity of the loss we had experienced. This is a woman who could have had, should have had, a better husband, a husband who could have provided for her the way she deserved. She stayed, however, and that is why I think I know, at the sunset of life, what love truly is. It isn't an infatuation, a rush of emotion; love is a choice. That is surely what it came down to many times for my wife, and she always chose her life with me. I have not been blessed with many things in life, but I think I have been blessed with true love from a remarkable woman. Well, thank you for listening to an old man ramble on. What are your thoughts and experiences with love, and what do you think really constitutes true love?

• Answer:

  I'm almost speechless, I reading this right now with tear filled eyes and just sit in amazement at how raw and beautiful it is. What you described is love in it's entirety and I'm so glad you found it. Honestly, you inspire me. I hope one day I can achieve even half of what you have. I'm 19 years old and have been plagued by sadness but you give me hope that life can be better. I always wanted to know what true love is, what it meant, what if feels like and you showed me what it genuinely can be. Thank you. I want to save what you wrote and apply it to my everyday life. Again, I truly thank you for changing my thoughts of love. I wish you and your wife years of happiness.