How To Talk To A Guy?

(please please please read i need advice) how should i talk to my guy friend about this?

• me and this guy are best friends. hes always said that im his best friend... and i do too. i told him a while ago that i like him as more than a friend. and he said he just thought of me as a friend. and now... my problem isnt that he doesnt like me... its more about just our friendship. like one day... he'll be really nice to me and want to talk to me and text me all day... will want to hang out and treat me great like we are the best of friends. i love when hes like that we have so much fun together. even sometimes when hes like that ppl always say to me they think he likes me cause he acts like he does. but then... some days... its like he doesnt even care about me. like he doesnt care if we talk or not. and if we do hes not into it at all... but sometimes if i try and ask him about it... he just said he was busy or something. but like before... even if he was busy... he seemed like he would still try and make time to talk to me or hang out cause he wanted to. i really dont know what to do. but i cant take it anymore. we never ever really had a serious conversation about any of this... and when i told him i liked him he even said we should talk about it like in person. but we never did. i really want to have a conversation just about all this with him... none of this trying to find a few minutes to talk about it when we hang out or anything like that. i just want to have a talk and just have that be why we are with each other with no interuptions or anything. and i should be able to talk to him about all that ive been feeling and what its like for me... we are friends right? i actually did text him a few days ago saying i wanted to talk about our friendship and he agreed to it. i told him we should talk in person whenever he wants to/can. and he said ok. he hasnt brought it up again since then but he has been busy so there would have been no way to meet up in the past couple days anyways. but when we do talk... what should i say? like... i know i have all these thoughts and feelings that i want to talk about with him, but i guess i just dont know how, ya know? like if we go talk and he says... so whats wrong? or why did u want to talk? ... what am i supposed to say? like maybe that im confused? or something? and like should i even bring up anything about how sometimes it seems he likes me or no? like do you think it would be good if i brought up that whole subject again... since we never actually talked about it the first time? please helpppppppp

• Answer:

  Hi <3 ! Let me ask you something. When did your friend suddenly become too busy to talk? The reason I ask is because the way you wrote about your problem, it seemed to me that he became this way after you told him how you feel. "The "more than a friend" feeling is what I'm talking about. In any case, now that he knows how you feel about him, and he has told you how he feels, when you tell him you want to talk where you can be private, with no interruptions, certainly he knows what you want to talk about. The way I'm reading this situation, it tells me that he's trying to save the friendship without hurting you and without having to tell you again that you're only a friend to him. In other words, I think you're scaring him off. While you're dreaming of some kind of a relationship, your friend may be thinking, "PLEASE don't ruin this friendship by making something more of it!" Since he doesn't want to have to say that again, and he enjoys your friendship and doesn't want to ruin it, he just avoids getting together and says he's been busy. Maybe that's why he sometimes holds his feelings in check and doesn't have fun with you. He may be reminding himself that he shouldn't be so friendly when he knows how you feel. On the other hand, since we don't know his thoughts, maybe there's another angle. Where he's outgoing and a lot of fun, maybe inside he's shy. Lots of people cover their shyness very well. Knowing that you like him as more than a friend, he might dread getting together and talking about this because he's shy. I've known people who have seemed like the life of the party, but if you wanted to get close to them, they kept you at arm's length, so to speak. They just didn't like talking about feelings or having anyone get too close. Your friend could be one of those people. He could be agreeable when you ask to talk with him, but inside, he might be thinking that he doesn't want to get close like that. It might have nothing to do with you as a person. He just doesn't want to get too close. Does that sound plausible? I have suggestions for what I think you should do, but you didn't ask about that, so I won't say anything. You were more concerned with what you should say to him when you got together. You're not SUPPOSED to say anything! You say what you want to say, which is, I think, what you've already said to him. You should be yourself and say how you feel. It's really up to you. That has to be your decision. Only you know the questions you have, and only you know what's on your mind. Give it some serious thought. It should be important if you're going to ask him to give up his time to talk with you. I'm absolutely certain you can find your reasons if you think about it seriously. Pretend you're with him for one hour with nobody else around. What would you want to tell him, and what would you like to ask him? Then, don't play games with him. Remember, he's been a wonderful friend, and you don't want to lose that friendship! Good luck! I'll be thinking about you! :)