Friendship Pins?

Boy-girl friendship, and maybe a bit more than that. Please, what should I do?

• This is probably going to be a bit longer, but I hope someone out there will take some time to read my question and give me a more or less helpful answer/advice. I'd like to thank you in advance. So, as a boy, my best friend is a girl. The whole story started in summer 2011, when we got to know each other. After a month she totally fell in love with me, but sadly, it was unrequited love for her. I wasn't able to see her more than just a great friend. She was in love with me for 3 months. She told me about it after a month. So much happened then, but I won't write everything, it would be too long. In the end we've quarrelled about something, and stopped talking for a week. After a week everything went back to normal, and I caught myself that I have feelings towards her as well, so I just told her, but she refused to date me (friendzoned, basicly), and the whole thing turned to the opposite (Me in love with her this time), but after I told her, our friendship ended. It was really painful for me, as it was for her before (she cried a lot of times for me, it was really serious :/). The worst for me was not that she doesn't love me anymore, but that I missed a wonderful chance. After 2 months, finally I forgot her somehow. Meanwhile, I got an sms from her "Hi, how are you? can we be best friends again? :)" I was very happy that we can be best friends again, since she meant and still means really a lot to me as a friend. Since then we're still best friends, but we don't meet nor we talk that frequently as we used to, but that doesn't mean our friendship isn't as strong as it was, because when we need each other we're always there. Lately we're every weekend on on the same places to hangout and party. When she drinks she always becomes more emotional (that's normal of course) and she kisses me, hugs me, caressing my face, holds my hand, sits on my lap...She almost treats me like a boyfriend and everyone around us thinks we're together, but we are just best friends as I said. This annoys be because I don't get it why she is looking for me that much when she get's a bit drunk (If in not there, she calls me on phone). Okay, might be her way of treating a best friend, but for me and everyone else it looks like she thinks more. If I'd ask her out, she'd instantly refuse it, I know, and our friendship would ruin totally, so I won't. And to be honest, I don't know if I feel more than just friendship. We're both single. I think that I still like her, but at the same time I wouldn't want to ruin anything, so I won't even discuss it with her, it's better this way. What hurts for me, is that I feel like I care more than she does for me, overall. Is that possible that she has totally over me since then? or it's probably that she tries to use drunk moments to spend with me so she could say it was because she was drunk? As I said she's really important to me as a friend, and I'm afraid of losing her...Because she doesn't like it when people bring up the "me and her" topic, and usually after that our friendship becomes a little weaker for some time. That's what I hate in it...I enjoy being in her arms as much as she does, but afraid of what comes after that (regarding the friendship). I told her who I like (just like another girl, no feelings for her), so at least she doesn't think I'm running for her. It's really hard to find that ballance between us because at one point I think she feels more towards me (or don't know if she does that just because we're so close friends), another one it's me. We're very similar persons, similar souls, so it's hard to totally forget a such girl and treat her just as a friend all the time. That's what I'm thinking about, and is my biggest question...Did she see me 100% as a friend, and nothing else goes through her head? As I said, I can't discuss about this with her. I know, with a real friend you can talk about anything you want, but this is the only topic which would most likely end our friendship, so I have to avoid it. Answers from girls would be even more helpful, I guess. If a girl puts someone into "friendzone", she doesn't think about him as a potential lover anymore? I don't get that, because they're also humans and feelings work the same way. You can't control them. She can't just say, "ok, he's just a friend from now" and really treat him like that if her feelings aren't disappeared. I must admit, I still wish we could be together, but at the same time I wouldn't because I'm afraid of our friendship. And if anyone would ask her, she'd say the same in the end (afraid of losing friendship). I hate my sitaion... I hope someone can give me a great, thoughtful answer!

• Answer:

  I think you have been friendzoned because you hurt her before by turning her down. She doesn't want to be hurt again and so settles for friendship. Don't let another opportunity escape. Talk openly about it. If the friendship is real it will survive a heart to heart talk about your relationship. You will probably discover what everyone else can already see. You both have feelings for each other, it's gonna take one of you to put yourself out there because both of you are afraid to "ruin" a friendship. If she's serious about nothing more than a friendship, then no big deal, your friendship wil survive if the friendship was worth anything in the first place. Good luck