What makes a good phone conversation?

Toxic Friend Keeps Calling Home Phone Periodically. I Don't Want to Hang Out and Want to Break it Off Quietly?

• This Friend from Long Ago is toxic and he is one of those people that doesn't like losing friends (on facebook or elsewhere). Whenever he's around he enjoys himself at my expense. I'm done with the guy, but he still calls every month. I'm blocking him on facebook and have since gotten a new work phone he doesn't know...but he's got my home phone from when we were kids and won't stop calling. My mom's telling him I'm not home and what not...it's funny. My parents don't really know him and also know that I don't like the guy, so they get creeped out whenever he calls and tries to start a conversation (They know I'm not a fan of him...but we're all relaxing with being stern - I'm hoping he'll just move on...) I've already called him out...he took it well, but he's still too stuck up to admit that he was WRONG. That's okay...But if he knows he's hurting me and won't go away...he's either being sneaky or he's desperate...I've ignored him so long and he still calls...When I get married...he'll be the kind of freak to knock on the door when I'm not home and take it personally if my wife won't let him in. It's creepy, man. So, this why I'm being nice. I'm done hanging out with him and I'm done speaking with him on the phone and facebook and whatever....but I don't want him to think that because we said our "sorries" that things are back to normal...some things demonlish friendships and require an apology no matter how the friendship turns out. I'm tired of giving out 'get out of jail free cards.' What should I do. I don't care if nobody answers...I know it's wrong NOT to talk to him about my feelings, but then part of me thinks "What makes him deserve any attention out of me at all??" Should I just wait for him to stop? How should I act if I speak to him? He's a very unhappy person...I know nice people attack their friends...but he's still toxic and needs to go. Talking to him probably won't work (I've tried it twice)...but if you think it will, let me know what to say...I'm so embarrassed by this..and scared that this could escalate. No police, yet. He's just calling once a month....I just want him to go away. It's like, I haven't seen you in over a year...let it go.

• Answer:

  i was going to answer this but now i am not sure how. my first inclination is to say to just tell him matter of fact, you can no longer be his friend. I have done that a ton of times, it always ends up ugly, but that is how i know i made the right choice. Some people just dont like rejection and respond with obsessiveness. Are you being selfish? is he a good person? was there something done that was so outrageous you cannot get past? I have had the same best friend since 7th grade and i will be 41 in June, and let me tell you that my best friend has done me dirty a few times! but, i love her. she can be a raving *****, but i know her heart. we have gone a long time without talking or seeing each other but we always make up. Sometimes you can grow as a human and a soul when you show compassion and reach for understanding. you dont have to agree but at least try to see things from the other perspective. If he is bringing you down, man up and kick him to the curb.... if he is just depressed or going thru a rough time, maybe you can become a better person by helping him in some way. Never let anyone drag you through the gutter though. stay true to your heart, not to your pride/flesh/will. Thats all i have, I hope all goes well.