Friendship Pins?

Why it is necessary to check the level of our friendship.?

• There are many levels of friendship. The relationship we have with someone in the early stages of a friendship is not the same as what we experience as the friendship grows and matures. The first level of friendship is acquaintance. We meet someone that we feel we would like to know better. When we see this person at work or at a gathering, we smile, greet them, and engage in brief conversation. It is at this stage we decide if this is a realationship we want to pursue. The second level of friendship is casual. Friendship is centered on common interests and activities. We ususally see the other person in a group setting. We may also decide to get together for coffee or a drink for some one-on-one "getting to know you" time. Casual friends begin to share their hopes and problems in a general way at a surface level. They have a general idea about each other’s strength and weaknesses. Some words of affirmation and encouragement are shared. Appreciation for the other person begins to grow. The third level of friendship is close, or intimate, friendship. This friendship is based on a mutual attraction and desire to spend more time together. We share our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other. We discuss our plans, goals, and problems based on the trust that has be gained at earlier levels of friendship. We are willing to offer our strength where our friend is weak and vicer versa. This is the "I'll always be there for you" level of friendship.

• Answer:

  I'm not sure if I understand your question. "Why is it necessary to check our level of friendship?" Are you checking to make sure your level is the same as your friend's level? Sometimes a friend wants to be on a more intimate level when I want to back away, and sometimes I want to move to the next level and a friend wants to limit their time with me. Some people are looking for friendship or to deepen a relationship, while other people aren't exactly on the same page as their friend. I once invited an acquaintance to stay in my spare bedroom overnight because she was sobbing that she didn't have anywhere to stay. She invited herself to stay three days and wanted to move in to be my permanent house-mate. I found out that I couldn't stand the woman a moment longer and spent an entire year keeping her at arm's length. It was necessary for her to check our level of friendship, but she just wanted someone she could mooch off of.