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Do you think I have a wrongful termination case?

What would you do in our situation? Have a termination or continue?

  • We went for our 20 week scan on Tuesday and our baby has been diagnosed with Spina Bifida. We've had a couple of days to think about it and had lots of support from friends and family but we still have a difficult decision to make. My question is what would you personally do if you were in our situation? Would you consider having a termination (which can be done when we like even though the pregnancy is far on)? Or would you continue the pregnancy and have your baby even though there is a possibility that the baby maybe a "cabbage" as the hospital put it - may never walk may never talk may never respond to you? We had plenty of contact with people that have spina bifida and had healthy and happy lives (except been wheelchair bound). But we have been told by the consultant it looks like a very serious case and most people terminate in our position. The problem is I had an abortion 2 years ago at 7 weeks and struggled to come to terms with this. I do not know if I could go through it again and I also said the only reason I would ever do it again would be due to medical reasons. I would like to know what you would do in our situation? We do not want to know what to do as we know this is our choice but we would like other people's opinions. Thank you.

  • Answer:

    First of all, let me say how sorry I am to hear about this. This must be one of the most difficult decisions to make as parents. It really is personal opinion, but if you and your husband feel that you couldn't care for a child with those problems, or think that the child would have no quality of life, I would terminate. It isn't a situation that you can really just imagine yourself in, but I think IF it were me, I would terminate (and I am not a fan of abortion...I believe in personal choice, but it isn't something that I would ever do - except in this type of situation). Best of luck to you and your family. I hope everything works out for you.

Nosy_Cow at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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I'm not going to offer advice to you but if it was me, then I know I would have the birth terminated. I would be incredibly sad to do it but I know I would. Life is hard enough in my view, even if you are able bodied.

Buddha

I agree with Buddha. Life as already tough enough, for kids AND for you. I personally would terminate even though I know it would be hardest thing I'd ever have to do in my life. Good luck to you in what ever decision you make. Im sorry you are having to go through this!

sebastian94538

I think this is a very difficult subject.. my own decision would probably to have a termination. I am pregnant at the moment and my husband and I had a 'what if' discussion about this when I had my scans too. Every woman is different and this will no doubt be a very difficult decision for you both to make.

panda

I'm a Guy (obviously from my Avatar) and I would Terminate! My Aunt gave birth to a baby with the same 'problem' 5 years ago and thru all the Anguish she wishes she had Terminated the Birth. However, Nature took it's course and the baby died after 7 months....It effected her WORSE to 'see' her baby die, rather than if she had Terminated the birth.... She now has a Healthy baby Boy who is going to be 4yo. in July. As you stated "It's your Decision" and I wish you Guidance in your Decision!

Trouble

Hi there. At the end of the day, this is your baby we are talking about. Don't have a termination. This baby is your flesh and blood. He/she has feelings, emotions and knowledge, just like you. Make the right choice for you personally, not anyone else :)

The Rabbit Expert

have it, its your child, its meant to be on this earth, its your blood man its part of you... adopt it if u cant handle the stress but it HAS A RIGHT TO LIVE

*BuBbLeS*

This is how i would feel remember at the end of the day though its your decision. To know the first abortion left you struggling and to also think this pregnancy is much further on and to also know doctors don't always get it spot on 'it looks like' doesn't sound like they know how severe it is.I have a cousin who has spina bifida and has never even used walking aids.She did have to have the surgery as an infant and does have a curvature but she is now a mother herself and she loves life. Abortion is not without risk it can marr the chances of further pregnancies. If it was me I couldn't go through with it for the very reason you spoke of with your first I know I would never deal with it.If people can deal with it,it is totally up to them I don't live their lives or have to raise the child they are carrying.I just don't believe you would cope a second time,I don't believe it is worth the risk either and i don't believe the child would have a miserable life if its one in a chair because you are the mum! its all about love.(I'm 47 i got a wheelchair ten yrs ago ive two wonderful teens and met a great guy we've been together nearly a year.Chairs don't really restrict people are more accepting these days.

Wendy

I WOULD KEEP THE BABY! GOD GAVE THIS BABY TO YOU FOR A REASON! YOU ARE BLESSED. MY CAUSENT HAS CHILD WITH THE SAME THING AND THEY TOLD HER THE SAME THING YES HE IS WHEEL CHAIR BOUND SURE HE IS SOME WHAT OF A CABBAGE BUT HE SMILES AND HE KNOWS WHO HIS MOM AND DAD ARE HE IS AN AWESOME CHILD HIS NAME IS KYLE AND WE CALL HIM KYLE SMILE BECAUSE HE SMILES A LOT THERE ARE SCHOOLS OUT THERE FOR KIDS LIKE THIS THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT MAKE IT THERE LIFE TO HELP PARENTS LIKE YOU. GOD BLESSED YOU HUNNY. KILLING THIS BABY WON'T HELP YOU. KEEP IT AND WATCH THE JOY THAT THIS BABY WILL BRING TO YOU EACH AND EVERY DAY! JOIN GROUPS OF PARENTS THAT CAN HELP YOU THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES EVEN WITH "NORMAL" KIDS YOU WILL HAVE TOUGH TIMES. GOD BLESS AND I HOPE YOU KEEP THIS BABY AND BECOME AN AWESOME PARENT THAT REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON THERE BABY!

i dont even need to read ur question. Keep the child, as you said they went on to have a happy life. wheel-chair bound is not bad or abnormal, dissabled people can do all the things 2 legged people can do. your chosing vanity over your love for this child. you are looking to others for reassurance of what you know. i think you want to keep it, but are just afraid. this is not an excuse for an abortion. there is no excuse at all. abortions are wrong, it is legal murder. keep the baby and love like you would any other baby.

Jamie

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