What is the longest time anyone has ever been in a coma?

Can someone please help me? My mother has been in a coma for 3 weeks!?

• She coded in the ambulance and went into cardiac arrest. The Dr.s say she went for quite some time without oxygen while they were trying to get her heart started. First couple days they said there was some hope that she would be ok and come out of the coma, but there are no reflexes only her brain stem that controls her breathing has barely been hanging on. Now today they think the brain stem is gone as well which means that she is officially legally brain dead which is the same as DEAD. My mother is my best friend in the whole world. I have 2 small children ages 5 and 2 and she adored them soooo much and it just hurts so bad that she won't be able to see them grow up. She had been sick for some time, not this sick but I think I have been depressed for some time because I was afraid I was going to loose her. I hardly have any close friends any more. I spent most of my free time with her. While I do have a wonderful husband, he works long hours at work and I hate to burden him all the time with my sorrow, his job is very stressful. Anyway today they will probably turn the ventilator off and she will not breath and her heart will stop soon after. I feel really bad because I don't want to be there when she dies. There will be other family members with her though. I just don't know how I can get through the funeral service in one piece, I'm not a strong person. If anyone has been through any similar situations or has any suggestions to help me cope, please HELP!!!

• Answer:

  First off - I am so sorry that you have to go through something as traumatic as loosing your mom and best friend to brain death. I am a Neuro ICU nurse and have witnessed many situations similar to what you are describing. What she is probably going through, from your description, is brain swelling from an anoxic brain injury. Anoxic means without oxygen. Brain cells are very sensitive to their needs and swell for a number of reasons. The brain stem is located at the base of the brain and controls our most basic functions like breathing. It sounds like they believe her brainstem as herniated. This means that the swelling is so severe that it pushes the brainstem down through a small opening in the base of the skull. Once this happens it is irreversible There are tests that are performed by doctors to confirm that someone has brain death. I strongly encourage you to be with your mother as much as possible until her death. Sounds like they are withdrawing care on her today if they are turning off her ventilator. As painful as it will be I believe that you need to be there to say goodbye to her. This will help you in your own grieving process. Get your husband close. His job can wait. You and your children need his support. I know this might be the most painful experience you have ever gone through. There will be moments that all you can think to do is just breathe. And in those moments your only job is to do just that. If you pray or meditate take extra time to do so. I believe that you have the strength to get through these next couple of weeks. Then you can start healing. It's going to be a long journey. Counseling and/or a talk with your doctor about an antidepressant may be needed. I will pray for your strength today. I will pray for a peaceful passing for your mother. I will also continue to pray for your healing.