How do BOOKIES make money during football matches?

Please help! boyfriend gambles so much?

• My boyfriend is just wonderful, he perfect to me in every way. He started gambling when he was 17, he was just on the fruit machines, bought a few scratch cards here and there.. Then he turned 18 and discovered the bookies.. He was given £1000 for his 18th in chunks.. Each time he could come home and say how he'd lost it all. Giving in one hour, and gone in the next. A whole £1000 gone... I was upset and he was very upset and disappointed, with himself. So he starting giving it up, he'd never go to the bookies with 100 in his pocket, he'd go with 50p or something which wasn't bad considering how bad it used to be. Recently he's been getting more money, he's been working more, and he's inherited £500 from he nan who past last year. He just rung me very upset, very disappointed, asking if I could keep his bank card, and to never let him use it, I'll draw money out for him which he will use for clothes, nights out just general stuff. I said yeah no problem, whys that? He told me he's just lost ALL HIS WAGES!? £350'S worth, are gone! He was stressing out... He really wants to stop, he knows he has a problem, he knows he's addicted, he wants to stop.. He wants me to help him, my boyfriends not a big speaker, he doesn't like to go to say counseling and talk to them, he always wants to talk to people he trusts and loves, which are, his mum, me and his best friend.. Who has now left for uni today. Which H' (my boyfriend) hasn't taken lightly. We live in a deprived area, in Kent. England.. There is nothing to do round our areas, literally nothing other than popping to the town, going round the shops. Everything else costs so much money, or we have to drive out miles to get to it, neither of us drive yet, and we don't really want to spend £30 for the train to the coast each weekend, H' has a great group of friends, but none of them can ever find anything to do, except bookies, or football same old same old.. Please help me, help my man! How can I help him emotionally, I support him in every way, I never judge him or make him feel bad, I'm always here for him. I just need some idea's on how to help him and get him thru this. He wants the help, how can I give it to him - Thank you so much!

• Answer:

  He's got a serious problem and needs serious help. Giving you his bank card was a good idea, but it doesn't fix his problem. The next step to take immediately would be that he must hand over his paycheck to you each week. He should have NO MONEY ever in his pockets! Not for a very long time! 50p is TOO MUCH for a gamble-a-holic to have. If he is willing to take this step, and you are willing to completely take over every aspect of his finances, then you can fix the immediate problem of his ruining his life and yours. (He WILL ruin your life if you allow this to continue.) By the way - you don't give him money for anything! Not even for clothes. If he wants clothes, go with him to the store. YOU keep the receipts, too, so he can't go bring the item back to the store for cash! Something you need to believe, whether you like it or not: If he is a compulsive gambler, which it sounds like he is, he WILL LIE to you in order to get money. You've got to have ways that you can check to be sure he is not gambling. OK - STILL this does not solve the inherent problem! He needs some serious help! Get him to some sort of counselor or gamblers' anonymous group. This is absolutely NOT something he can just "get over" on his own. You will need some serious help, too.