How do you cut a frozen uncooked turkey in half?

• Please folks, this is a serious question, we are not joking about this question. I know it may sound dumb to some of you. But my parents and I have a frozen whole turkey still in the bag from the store. We do not have an oven big enough to cook a whole turkey in. So there for we are going to have to cut the turkey in half in order to cook it and we only want to cook half of it right now. I know we can just thaw out the whole turkey and then cut it in half with a sharp knife, but we only want to cook half of it right now and leave the other half frozen until a later date. The oven in our stove has burned out and don't have the money right now to get it fixed. We want to cook the half of turkey in a our toaster oven. The whole turkey will not fit in it, only half will fit. Any body out there have any ideals of how to cut a frozen turkey in half?

• Answer:

  You'll need power tools. Don't use a chainsaw, because they oil themselves and that will get on the turkey. Use a jigsaw or reciprocating saw, and make sure you clean the blade carefully before you do it. If you don't have powertools, a hack saw might be able to do it if it's big enough. Clean it with alcohol if you have any. Also, the turkey will be slippery, so be very careful that you don't slip and hurt yourself. Happy Half-a-Thanksgiving!