Do you like art?

I'm applying to an art college and would like to know is this a good essay?

• The criteria ask that I discuss my reasons for pursuing studies in the visual arts including information about myself, my goals, and interests. And voila, my essay>> PLEASE give criticism! For me art is more than just entertainment, it's a way of thinking. Since I've attended Carver Center for the Arts, I've really felt a strong connection for art that really increased this year. I love all art techniques, from filmmaking to sculpting, and I love to learn how to create art in new mediums. And here is my essay>> This year I have been really focused on speaking through my artwork. I've begun wanting my work to do more than just look good; I want it to speak. I became an assistant 1 month ago helping my church elder. Being with him has taught me alot about art; Not just the technical workings, but the concept. I've learned from him how to capture emotions, and now my plan is to incorporate that into my digital pieces. But, I've realized I can't do it alone. Last summer, I received a job at The Harbor Bank of Maryland as an Assistant to the Senior Vice President of the main office. This was an amazing experience me because I felt compelled to do my best since I was part of a group; if I made a mistake it would affect the performance and reputation of the bank. It made me think about my accomplishments in school. Even though my art was developing, I wasn't really an academic scholar. I struggled with meeting deadlines if anything. I would push my academic work aside for my art and in turn damage my grade. Nevertheless, even when I missed a deadline I’d still go back and do the work. This has been my biggest struggle in school, but I still feel I have the potential to achieve great things. The banking experience brought out work ethic I never knew I had and also helped me better represent myself as well as working with others. I am more willing to work in groups now and I speak up and add my suggestions more instead of letting everyone do what they want to do. Working in groups teaches me to accept other creative minds and work together towards a common goal. Whether it be a film or a painting, with teamwork great things can be accomplished. I want to experience that. Being in the tight, hectic office everyday made me wake up and realize theirs so much that can be done if we all came together. That experience brought out my real artistic abilities. Instead of venturing out of my safety area, I stuck with my 0.7 mechanical pencils when it came to ANYTHING instead of adapting to the world of graphite, charcoal, digital tool, and various mediums I was too scared to use. Even my style of artwork hadn't started changing until the end of 10th grade when I broke out of that phase and started drawing figures in different mediums. I’ve also started taking on more advanced programs as opposed to my basic Photoshop skills. I now work in Illustrator, Premiere Pro, After Effects, Flash, Dreamweaver, 3d Studio Max, Toon Boom Animation, Audacity, Corel Painter X, and Maya. I take art very seriously and always spend my time reading tutorials; whether online or at the nearest Barnes & Noble, reading up on a new way to create certain techniques. I wish to pursue Animation because unlike filming, the sky’s the limit to what can be done. Not only that, but it help tell a story. I want to learn to reach out and tell my stories and to help others tell theirs. The sky's the limit.

• Answer:

  write out the contractions. I have sounds more sophisticated than I've. In the second paragraph it says "This was an amazing experience me" I think you're missing a "to"