How do I get grants/scholarships for college?

How do I get over the overwhelming depression caused by me not being able to go away for college?

• Currently I am a second semester sophomore and I have completed 50 hours of college credit. I have not enjoyed my first year of college or most of my years of college one bit. Due to having a B average in high school, bad counseling, no idea how the college system works, parents that restricted me and did not let me apply for scholarships, and parents that forced me to basically stay at home for college. I ended up going to a college 5 minutes from my house. Everyone here goes to class and then goes home. I have tried to connect with the campus but overall I do not see myself here. My GPA is a 2.7 after 50 credit hours but I am sure it will go up this semester. My parents forced me (I mean LITERALLY forced me) to major in something I hated and it was below what it could have been. I am just so depressed that half way through college I have been at home and missed everything which is like a college life. I feel like a social loser and so do many of my friends. What do I do?

• Answer:

  Whenever you are unhappy you have to sort through the situation and identify what you can control from what you can't. You then look at the pile of things you have no control over and decide whether you're going to retain or release the anger you have about them. All of us have very limited domain over our pasts. You can't rewind your life to the start of high school and do it all over again, making higher grades, getting better counseling, and being more proactive about learning about the college application process. Those years are gone, and all mistakes made during them can now either be lessons that help you to make wiser decisions now, or they can be weeds of regrets growing up inside of your mind and pestering you. You also have to forgive any errors your parents made and realize that like all human beings they are flawed and fallible. What would happen if you drove down the highway looking in your rearview mirror the whole time? Would you safely get where you want to go? You have to put your focus on moving forward with your life instead of looking behind you so often. Yes, half of your college years may be gone, but the other half are for you to make for yourself. If you want to transfer to another college, you can. You need to be realistic while retaining a little optimism. No, you won't get into Harvard or a top-tiered public university, but there are other schools that will accept you. If you can bring your GPA up to at least a 3.0 you will have more options. Look into universities in your state that have less rigorous admission standards but still have an active on-campus student life and a decent reputation. If you can find one with a comparable tuition to where you're currently going your parents might still be willing to pay it, and you could either get a job to help pay your living expenses or try to apply for a low-interest loan. Try to get a full-time job over the summer so you can have more financial independence. If you decide to stay at the college you're currently attending, make the commitment to make the most of it. Consider joining a sorority or clubs or organizations that are of interest to you. As the saying goes, "bloom where you're planted." Look for ways to be more happily occupied outside of class as well. Try to land a job you enjoy and develop hobbies and passions. If you're genuinely depressed, seek remedies. Exercise can be very helpful, and nutrition can also improve depression. A lot of colleges have health services that include counseling, and if you can't get help there, you could try to find a therapist in your area. Research majors that you will find more fulfilling than the one you're in now, but also have stronger career prospects. The recession has deeply impacted the job market and the psychology of society so there is more risk involved in a lot of majors than before. Your parents might have read some of the many articles about graduates who have struggled mightily to find jobs with their degrees and tried to steer you in a direction they hope will lead to more stability. Clearly, they do love and care about you or they wouldn't still be carrying financial responsibility for you when you're now legally an adult and they no longer have that obligation. If they are insistent that you continue to pursue the major they choose for you, you have to decide whether you want to consider accepting their financial support and the terms that come with it, or if you want to assume all responsibility for yourself. I'm the same age as you and have dealt with power struggles between me and my parents. It's really all about compromise. If your parents are still supporting you, you do have to be willing to accept some of the strings attached, but at the same time now that you're grown you have a duty to make decisions for yourself. Ideally, your parents should just guide you in finding your own way at this point instead of directing you where to go, but some don't find that balance. Happiness is more than anything else a decision that only you can ever make for yourself. I had to defer college because I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma when I was sixteen and had a lot of complications during the treatment for it, and my college experience has been atypical as a result. I learned that bitterness is a form of mental cancer that in some ways can be as destructive as the actual disease, and to just eradicate it from my mind. I'm at peace now. I encourage you to let go of all that can't be changed in your life, and to find joy in your heart for all that you do have and all the possibilities in front of you. You're young, you're healthy, and you can move into your future with joy if you decide to. Take care!