Fashion journalism schools in New York?

Would someone read my Art Institute of New York City essay>?

• Please help, opinions and changes. Thanks. I feel obligated to start off this essay with stating how much I love art. So here it goes: I love art! I currently attend a performing arts high school in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, majoring in illustration and photography. It is such a blessing to be able to attend this amazing school. Just being in the presence of the school makes you think: "Wow, good things are going to come from here." Opportunity is literally booming out of the windows! I have recently won second place for the most "dedicated/productive" artist at my school; that was truely an honor. New York has always been the place I wanted to go to college. I will admit, this is not the only school I have applied to. It is one of a few, but all are in the Big Apple. Being already interested in this school for the past year or so, this past summer I went to the Art Institute of New York City for a summer program. What a wonderful experience! I went with my friend for fashion merchandising. I was paired up with a fashion designer and we got to work! We had a few days to sketch out a dress and make it out of random items we were given. Because of my love for drawing, I sketched out the design. Seeing it come to life, piece by piece, was honestly a terrific experience. I was so used to drawing and being satisfied with my work as it was, but after seeing something I drew become a 3-D, wearable object gave me a whole new perspective! The whole project had to be influenced by the fashion designer Alexander McQueen. While at his exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, one of his quotes jumped out at me: "I am going to take you on journeys you've never dreamed possible." Man, was he right. My career goals: there are so many things I would like to accomplish in my life. I have always been very interested in fashion, but always more interested in illustration. After attending the summer program at Ai, I realized just how much I enjoyed fashion merchandising. It requires, in my opinion, a real eye for composition. The placement, colors, etc. arranged in the perfect way for the object being displayed to catch your eye. Even if it's just a simple, colored foam core background! I could definitely see myself doing this in the future. Another thing that I am very interested in is fashion photography. Some of my classes at school are held at a photography studio, which is down the road from my school. People will either come in or we will photograph other people in the class. Photographing all of these people almost flipped on a switch for me! I started to take peoples senior pictures, head shots, and so one. Eventually, I made it to the national level for a competition held all throughout the United States and got scholarships to schools for my photographs, as well as one of my photographs making it into Vintage Guitar magazine. Also, I was just recently asked to create a piece or artwork incorporating a photograph that may be displayed in a museum in Pittsburgh in March of 2012. Fashion photography is honestly something I could see myself doing in the future, but like anything, you have to know the background of your study. The Art Institute could help me achieve this goal by working with and always being around fashion and design. I believe that fashion merchandising could help me achieve this goal the best. The reason I believe this is because with merchandising, you need to know placement. You need to know color. You need to know composition. You need to know lighting. All of these will help me in the future quest of becoming a fashion photographer. This two year study, at a school that I already know I love, will truely "take me on journey's I've never dreamed possible."

• Answer:

  there is only one paragraph about the school. the rest is about you. you need to eliminate all the "me" stuff and expand the info about your time at the school. was that one project you mention the only thing you had to do.? am quite certain you can add a great deal more about your experience there. then, at the end of your essay, you can include a short paragraph about how it affected and influenced you. your final sentence is a very good closer...keep it. when you have decided on the final form for your essay, please post it . would really enjoy reading it. good luck to you