How To Feel Good?

How to Feel Good About Yourself?

• I'm 14 and, I honestly feel like I need other people to make me happy. If I don't have a friend around, I can't really talk to new people, because I feel like theres no one there to back me up. For example, if I go to a picnic or something by myself with no friends, I feel really lonely, and its hard for me to go up and talk to people who already have a group of friends. I also don't feel good about doing something unless I'm recognized by others for it. I want to be manager of the school football team for popularity, but since I don't have a partner to be around me I don't want to do it anymore, because I'll be alone. I also just don't know how to approach new people, because I'm always worried they'll think I'm weird. And I feel like the friends I do have have this year don't even seem to really like me. I hang out with the same 6 people, but they always seem to have more fun without me, and I go to a small school so I can't really meet new people. I also want everybody to like me. As soon as I meet people I try to do something I know they'll like to please them. I really only feel good about myself after people compliment me and tell me that I'm good. Even after hours I meet someone, I'll stay in bed wondering and stressing if that person liked me. if they thought I was clever, if they think I'm attractive, etc. One thing I know is good about myself is that I'm very smart. In my 8th grade class I was voted "Most Likely to Succeeed." I'm top of my class of 200 and school is just something I'm naturally good at, and I'm a straight A student. Grades is something I know I'll always be able to control. I know eventually I'll be really successful because I'm hardworking, but when people tell me that I try too hard and have no life other than school I feel bad again. I also know that my family is well-off and doing better than most families in this recession, but I still feel like for some reason, that's not enough. I also think I'm ugly. I'm really dark, since both of my parents are straight from Africa, and feel insecure about that. I also have short hair, and I think if I only had long hair I would look so much better. My acne also makes me feel really self-conscious, but then when I wear make-up I feel like everybody can see it and see that I'm trying to be fake. I try to dress up and look good, and was nominated for best dressed in my school. That made me really happy for a while, because I want people to notice the way I dress and the clothes I wear and admire it. I feel really bad and angry, or I guess jealous whenever someone gets a better grade on a test than me, is prettier than me, or has more friends. How can I build self-esteem/confidence and just enjoy my life? I always worry about what others think about me, and I'm afraid to say or do things I really want or approach people because of that. I'm only 14 and want to enjoy my life, because sometimes I feel so depressed. So, how can I feel good about myself wherever I go, even if I'm alone? I'm also afraid of talking to people because I've seen people come up and talk to a group of people and they seem to get along, but then when that person leaves the group of people talk about that person. So I guess, I'm afraid of being that person that everybody hates. And I want everybody to like me, and when they don't it really hurts. And If I'm alone I feel like a loser. Like, if I go to the pool or a restaurant all by myself I just feel so down and I don't know why. Sorry, I know this is a lot but I feel like I need things to be happy. Like having a FaceBook, I really want one, and if I had one I would be so much more popular but my parents won't let me. Or if I had my room painted, or texting on my phone, or long hair.

• Answer:

  helping others is what makes people happy, and working hard at something, too.