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Who do you think is harder to understand, a man or a woman?

Why do so many women who think they deserve a man who is better than them?

  • Hear me out. This is a bit long so you might want to skip this one. And before you make judgments about me I’ve been involved in a serious, happy monogamous relationship for five years. I’ll provide you one example from my life. I work with a black woman (I don’t believe her race is especially important, just trying to help the reader form a mental picture) in her mid 30s who is overweight, does not have a good position within in the company, who is rude, not especially charming or intelligent. Yet, day after day, when excusing the fact she is indeed a woman in her mid 30s who is neither married, involved in a relationship, and been in neither for years her excuse is that she “ain’t settling.” She has even has a list of the characteristics a man whom she would date must possess. This is only the most current of several women I have know like this. Completely generic, not especially intelligent or charming who believe they deserve a Doctor who is a Calvin Klein underwear model on the side and speaks 6 languages. Not gonna happen. You’re not good enough. Perhaps I should have prefaced all this with saying that there are plenty of pudgy, chubby guys who also think they deserve a woman is demonstrably out of their league, though I honestly haven’t noticed this phonema to be as prevalent in men as it is in women. I could understand a Victoria’s Secret model expecting to date a man of commensurate attractiveness. I could understand if a woman worked hard and started her own business or was a successful attorney that she may well expect to find a partner who could maintain the same time of lifestyle that she does. In the past, I have had my assumptions about what would cause a woman to behave this way, but these assumptions have generally proven to have no consistent value in explaining this borderline narcisstic behavior.

  • Answer:

    everybody wants the best they can get, but I would agree that a lot of people (male and female) are unrealistic about their chances of success in getting exactly what they want in a mate/cohabitator. It does bear mentioning that females from the group you mention are favored by laws and quotas, and I have noticed that they tend to have a sense of entitlement in these as well as other unrelated areas. But women are nothing compared to their mothers in expectations. It's very rare for a mother in law to think you are good enough for her little girl. They don't always say it, but most of them feel it. Eventually it comes out in the wash.

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Sorry, but that is just black women man. They all lie to themselves and think they deserve more than anyone. That is why they always have bitter attitudes and are yelling at and badmouthing their men.

Steve

YES... this is classic. Women are like that ALL OVER THE PLACE. They are all on Match.com pretending they "won't settle" but the truth is -->> she can't get (or keep) a man to be interested in her anymore. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOezYzK3yck http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyc98L6shy8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVE6B1-tOPM I really enjoy seeing women like that. They are out there by the millions. Where it really gets funny is, when women carry on and pretend they deserve a man who is so much better than them...... but once she meets that guy, she can't STAND the idea that he is "superior" and suddenly she will call him a "misogynist". Women always fantasize about men who are better, bigger, stronger, wealthier, more educated, better travelled, more stable... and as soon as they meet that guy, they PANIC because they have no idea how to hang on to a man like that - or how to keep his interest. No women will be able to ENJOY a man like that, if she's going to "pretend to have a problem" with men who actually ARE like that. And this is why there are so many single women over 30 who can't even manage careers and relationships at the same time..... while pretending they are really "good at multi-tasking".

The Man

Our expectations mirror men's expectations. Men feel that they deserve a Victoria's Secret model, too. So shallow meets shallow.

Wee Willie

its because that woman in her "mind" thinks she is beautiful and has a lot of confidence in herself. It's the way people are brought up you know? like if a gorgeous girl had grown up thinking she was ugly her self esteem would be so low that her expectations would be low.

Belenasa

I've thought this same thing before. I always hear certain women (usually loud, annoying and obnoxious women who think they're divas) claim that they "deserve better" and deserve to be pampered. Why? Why do these particular women deserve more than anyone else? They highlight the fact that they're women and that means that they somehow deserve everything based on that alone. What happened to everybody being equal? If you're annoying, rude and loud and have nothing to offer, don't expect any respect or gratitude in return. Of course, this isn't a gender thing, it happens with men to. Some people are just annoying eh?

John

Woman are just as shallow as men thats all. Men like sexy looks, woman like money and talent. Many people think they deserve what they probably will never get. Some are lucky and actually do. The woman you are speaking of will eventually settle. If not she will be single for life.

S-man

Wow! All I can say is maybe she's been hurt a lot. Maybe she was "super model thin and attractive". People will do and say all kind of "out of the norm" things just to avoid being hurt/pain again. And don't let it get to you that much because no matter what we want or say we want, people usually meet people that are like them (physically, mentally, and financially). A 10 gets a 10, 5 a 5...rarely will you see a 10 with a 4 or 5....

≈..Ω ♥p03° pink♥Ω..≈

because girls who are like this lady think that she deserves everything without doing something.

el guanaco.

Who are you to judge anyone, by their physical or emotional or intellectual attributes. Much of what you illustrate here is inherently on the surface and continuously circles about and returns to how this co-worker looks. If she is not beautiful, or talented or has some other attribute that you cannot see, why should she have standards of any kind? How can you possibly know if she has had many relationships and learned from each one, how can you know who she really is below the physical surface of your perceptions. What I actually see is you deciding that she is not worthy of self respect on your very superficial list, that your overwhelming desire is to judge her for her choices. Perhaps it might be a very wise and thoughtful exercise to understand why this woman warrants such a question and analysis of her life and why it bothers you so much.

Annie

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