Am i looking at feminists the wrong way? What are they like and what are your views on it?

Who do you think feminists are, people from another planet? Or a recently discovered tribe. People here will give you differing answers, it's your own choice who to believe, but always try to get to facts, never opinion. A purely emotional response is rarely one that corresponds to reality.

From feminists I know like Sam, they do want eqality. It's only anti feminists that state about the negative things from what I have observed - never ever heard a feminist say they want superiority. As you see when you get feminists answering in positive ways, people will thumb them down. Seems anti feminists just want to see the bad things in people.

Stop thinking in labels. They're not "Feminists", they are PERSONS. Each of them is an individual, each will have differences. Some will be excellent, some mediocre, some very bad. Labelling forces you to use the lowest common denominator in the group, which distorts your perceptions.

Obviously I stand for equality between women and men. I like good manners (which has nothing to do with feminism, more humanism) -so holding the door open is polite. In the area of Romance I think it is lovely to be given flowers as long as its not done with an assumption that as a woman I function as a slot machine- i.e.- put in flowers and chocolate -get out bl*w job. I love genuine compliments that show he's really thinking of me (again not the slot machine mentality -i.e. using re-cycled lines that 'worked' on other women). If a man wants to pay for a meal that's great - I'll return the favour sometime soon. In fact with my own fella, because I knew he enjoyed the chivalry of paying for me when we first got together, I put money in his shirt pocket when he was broke so he could still by me the drinks... I don't dispise men. I dispise sexism, sexist oppression, being patronised, held back, ridiculed, used, harassed, belitted, under-represented, violated, objectified, caricatured, silenced, overlooked, etc - because I am a woman. I know that sounds heavy, but I have experienced all of these things - it is not in my imagination, or in the imagination of other feminists. In almost every culture in the world women suffer through a lack of representation by the people in power and through the prevalent norms which make it okay to mistreat women and ignore their genuine wishes. There are indeed some selfish people who are female, who have benefited from the hard work of feminists (i.e.- the right to vote, own property, have good health care, etc), but have double-standards - i.e.- expecting the man to pay for everything whilst having the same wage as him. These are selfish people and I don't think they represent feminsm. I often get men saying "you're not what I imagined a feminist to be like" and that is simply because feminists have an awful lot of bad press because they are trying to change the status quo. I see myself as a feminist - someone who challeges and fights against injustice, but also as a loving, nurturing woman. Its quite hard for men to get their heads around this... I see that all the time! To respond- my man was in a bad financial situation when we met and he felt embarassed about this. I certainly wasn't the cause of it, and I paid my way equally. It was more of a game really. It just made him feel more debonnaire to pay and he felt he just couldn't sit there and let me buy the drinks all night. Perhaps some people might criticise me and say I should have challenged him on being so insecure about his masculinity that he needs to have some financial power in order to feel like a man, but I thought in essence his intentions were sweet, so I didn't want to leave him feeling emasculated or embarassed.

I read somewhere that this door opening tradition started when women wore dresses with hoop skirts that made it awkward for them to open them themselves. Since we don't wear them now, it's no longer necessary. People should be treated the same.

Feminists are for equality when it is to their advantage. Otherwise, they are for whatever will benefit them, even if it hurts men. They have earned the reputation by being hypocritical and pushing for anti-male policies while claiming they are for equality. Women in general do not despise men, unless they have been influenced by feminism.

First, thank-you for having an open mind and looking at all sides of the issues before reaching any conclusions. As you can see, feminism has been an often misunderstood movement. The early wave of feminism called for equal opportunity. Women were shut out of educational and occupational possibilities for quite a while. It was a common perception that females didn't have the gray matter to do much else but clean a house and make babies. We know this is not true. I would like to suggest that you read some history and study the contributions that women have made to society. Also, talk to women in person about their experiences. You will find a goldmine of information.Remember that a lot of "information" can be opinion, get the facts. It was never intended to be a hateful movement. Sure, you have a percentage that will disregard men, but that doesn't represent the larger picture Thank-you again for being open to discussion.

I think another way you could put it is equality or equity (as I have a few times) Different being equality is defined by the outcomes produced which as the term suggests must be equal. Equity is about fairness of treatment and is defined by the methods or means employed to create ANY outcome For example it is equitable (fair) that everyone is given the same opportunity to produce any outcomes (equal or unequal) they wish to pursue However it is equal to give everyone an equal outcome to begin with pretty much and the means employed thereby would be whatever is most expedient. So it could just so happen that equal opportunity is given but as we know from experimentation this is highly unlikely. So having accepted that feminism primarily advocates equality and thereby they view equal outcomes (or lack of them) as the issue to solve, they will not take into account equal opportunities or even rights for men since it is clear that we have continued to dominate high powered positions which is obviously unequal by definition but as far as I can see is still perfectly fair since we all started off with the same opportunity (following the 2nd wave). Now they have to deny us these opportunities by implementing quota systems like in Sweden. It's really pathetic and I know there are many feminists against this so it's just a few giving them a bad name by saying "we need to even out the playing field" p.s. having said all that it is interesting to note that chivalry and "special considerations" could in fact be equitable even if by definition they are unequal. But since feminism has made it clear they want equality, they MUST reject any of these considerations they still receive.

I don't like being treated differently just because I'm a woman. I don't care if the treatment is good; I'll have none of it. I like to take care of myself. Feminists do not dislike men; we have plenty of men in our own lives. We dislike: -men who dislike us -laws that favour men -societal double standards that favour men And that's it. Good for you for taking the time to educate yourself, unlike SOME people.