What are some good eating disorder related songs?

Is this eating disorder related? Could I develop one? Please help meee?

• I've puked up my food (on purpose) three days in a row now. I've done this 18 times in total (but over the course of the year). I don't know what is wrong with me. I had completely stopped purging (it wasn't a problem at all, definitely not addicted) in August. However, I gained about 5 pounds recently so naturally I was upset and began eating less than 500 calories. Well, today I pigged out (I couldn't control myself) and ate my way through like 1,000 calories. I just felt SO guilty and so disgusting that I cried. I just barfed up about half of them. The thing is, before I did it, I thought to myself "Wow, you're ridiculous for purging- stop it! You have way more sense than that. Just never do it again" and kind of laughed at the thought of me throwing up. 5 minutes later I was in the bathroom. I know it's wrong. I know it's terrible. I'm deeply ashamed of this (I do it so quietly because I can't let my parents hear me or anyone else). I don't want anyone to notice. Even more, I don't want to do it ever again. My throat is burning as I type this. Obviously just telling myself to stop doing this isn't working. Any suggestions as to STOP doing this to myself (without receiving professional help)? Also, do you think this could develop into bulimia?

• Answer:

  tips to fight bulimia without professional support: 1. hang picture on your bedroom wall of g-ddesses, full bodied women who are beautiful, instead of stick thin models 2. throw out your magazines, or hide them, don't read them at the store, it'll just subconsciously put ideas of what "perfect" in in regard to body type (i know, it's really really hard, but you have to do it) 3. t.v. - no e-hollywood, no tmz, no mtv, no project runway, even if you love it (you'll have to sacrifice if you want to get mentally better) 4. cut out "toxic" friends and family that encourage thinking like "loose 10 more pounds", "do i look fat in this", "i'm so fat i could die", etc 5.Set reasonable goals - "Reasonable" is the operative word here, because it means working within a framework of success rather than failure. From this perspective, positive thoughts replace negative ones, setback binges become opportunities to better understand the compulsion, and successes can be rewarded with encouragement, confidence and tangible results, no matter how small of a goal is reached. 6. Get support - Although the struggle to overcome bulimia is much easier with outside support, most bulimics are embarrassed by the truth and afraid to confide in others. But one issue driving bulimic behavior is a fear of relationships, which ultimately has to be overcome! Choose your confidantes carefully. 7. Look beyond the symptoms - Obviously, the immediate symptoms of bulimia revolve around food, but bingeing and purging, planning meals, counting calories, and other habitual behaviors are ways of coping with other underlying problems in your life. It is these hidden problems, of which you many not even be aware, that are "fueling" your eating disorder and that you will need to explore in order to be completely free. In this way, your bulimia can be a teacher, because every time you revert to it is an opportunity to learn more about the hidden truth. 8. Write regularly in a journal - Writing is a form of intimacy because it necessitates having an honest, caring relationship with yourself. A journal can reveal patterns that you might need to challenge, be used to chart your long-term progress, or help you problem solve. A journal is like having a best friend who will always be there for you and value what you have to say. It is also an excellent way to take quiet time and also explore the issues that come up when that time is taken. 9. Express yourself - Most experts agree that an eating disorder is a way to say something using the body that cannot be said in words. For instance, expressing anger by stuffing food and violent purging may be easier than confronting someone who has hurt us. I have one friend who uses her anorexia as a way of saying "no" to social activities, but "no" is an acceptable answer if it reflects your real feelings. You must risk revealing who you really are. 10. when focusing on food, 1,000 calories isn't enough for a growing girl, but Rome wasn't built on a day, if you purge don't beat yourself up, if you cut calories don't stress over it too much, instead start focusing on healthy foods, eating a hand full or raw nuts now and then for protein, drinking tons of water, and fruits and vegetables, lean meats, eggs (it's hard to feel guilty when eating healthy), plus you loose weight when you eat healthy 11. exercise, DON'T OVER DO IT! i used to, like night peddling at 3 am for hours. how about every time you are about to purge, go for a 2 mile walk or something---sound reasonable, i mean purging means you wish to loose weight, why not exercise instead 12. put empowering messages all over (lockers, doors, written on your arm (a new one a day), on shoes, on notebooks, stay positive 13. do stuff you love, treat yourself (festivals, movie theater, pet shops, book stores, start new hobbies (or totally throw yourself into something, either homework or a hobby)... or volunteer work! loose lots of weight running around, plus you're helping others. that's one of the things that helped my eating disorder! 14. hide all the purge-friendly foods (the more uncomfortable, the less likely to want to do it, though you may still will) 15. join a women's group for teens for empowerment, the sooner you learn to love yourself, the sooner you'll learn to overcome purging 16. don't go to eating disorder websites that yell at you to quit or guilt trip you by showing all the bad stuff it causes, go to body empowerment websites 17. meditation and/or joining a sport (trust me, you're active, feeling empowered, loose weight, get toned, and flooded with feel good hormones) 18. make lists, try to keep to important promises and schedules (lists, like purging, is a way to get control. that's why a lot of people purge, they feel out of control in their lives, and restricting their food intake is a way to find control) can't think of anything else right now... any questions, any support sometime, writ