I am always made fun of, how should i deal with it?

• Im made fun of alot in school and i hhave only a few friends. I have had anger problems since i was little, but they arent as bad now. I have a really hard time dealing with it. The 'popular' people all hate me, plus the 7th graders on my bus call me really offensive names. I mostly ignore them but it really hurts. Im sometimes on the verge of crying and i cant tell because they would call me a snitch and make fun of me more. It really gets on my nerves and i only have a few friends in my classes.

• Answer:

  I used to work for a teen center and with many kids who have the same problems. This is a tough time and I know you don't want to hear "it will pass, just don't listen to them". However, you need to be able to believe in yourself and what & who you are...even if you don't know that for yourself right now. Stick to your guns and what you feel is right and wrong and it will help guide you each day. Because you & your shadow are the only ones together at the end of the day. I try to tell kids that unless they care about what certain people say, let it go. This is so much easier said than done, but if you can let slide things people say and not take it personally, it will change your world. Look into a book called "The 4 agreements". It talks about how to become unconditionally happy. This is something everyone struggles with, it is only harder during middle/high school. I am a true believer that if you keep your course and not stray to win the eyes of others, you will sleep better at night and bring the people who you do care about closer to you. Friends find each other for who they are, not for who they try to be. I know it is a hard time and when people make fun of you it is very hard to not take it personally. You need to find a mantra that can keep you mind focused on other things than their comments. If you can let the comments slide off you and not respond, they may stop. I also think that you should be telling someone about this, whether it is a counselor or a teacher or even the bus monitor. I would avoid telling your parents at first because some parents can go overboard with fixing the problem and not understand the ramifications of them fixing the problem and not you. BUT YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE. Letting them get away with what they are doing only persists the problems. Also, it is not your fault that they are teasing you! I repeat, it is not your fault for them teasing you. I always hate when kids say it is someone else's fault because they got in trouble for what they did. Own up to your actions. OK...this is long...but I think the main pieces are: 1)to talk to someone about it-it will only persist because people allow it too. You can be anonymous or not name names. Make it a school wide mission to end teasing and bullying. Have a friend or someone else that as a witness go with you to back up your story! 2)Stay true to yourself - TRUE friends will follow 3)ignore comments from people you don't care about 4)don't take it personally - what they say has more to do with making themselves feel better (cliche i know, but true) in front of their friends. 5)read "the 4 Agreements" - the other 3 things are pretty cool too! GOOD LUCK and stay strong!