What ideas do some people view as "romantic" in stories that you find not romantic at all?
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A common criticism of romance stories is that there is no actual "love" in many of the stories but only infatuation and obsession. What ideas do you find prevalent in romance stories that you feel do not actually, accurately, or realistically portray real love and affection? What kinds of relationships in romance stories come off as unromantic to you?
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Answer:
A lot of romances I read especially contemporary ones really is just lust and not love. I will read the romance novel and I dont understand why the hero and heroine fell in love. I have a read a lot of novels where the hero and heroine dont like each other from the beginning because the hero might think the heroine is too ditzy, superficial, or she is a cold and stuck up. Or the heroine will not like the hero because they think he is a dumb jock or he is too arrogant and cold because he is very wealthy man and he runs a business empire. Then these two will hate each other most of the story and then all of a sudden the heroine will all of a sudden fall in love with the hero who was being a prick to her the whole story and then towards the very end of the novel the hero after he loses the heroine will suddenly realize that he loves the heroine. I also dont like secret baby story lines those are never romantic. I also hate those reunited former lovers story lines. Its almost always the hero and heroine who were involved when they were teens and then 7+ years later they are back in each others lives. These stories usually take place in small towns and the hero was a bad boy and the girl was a goody goody 2 shoes. Another thing I dont find romantic are stories where the heroine is on the run from an abusive husband or ex husband and she runs away to start over in a new small town and then she just happens to fall for a local guy who happens to be wealthy and he saves her in the end from the abusive husband who has attempted to kill her. Im also tired of regency romances with a heroine whos mind set and whos behavior too much like todays modern woman and the hero is almost always a duke who is a cold hearted womanizer whos family is dead all except his younger brother who has to rescue because the younger brother is always getting into trouble . BORING! Another pet peeve is in almost all romances the hero is always filthy rich and the woman is just a regular common person. Why cant it be the other way around? A lot of romances are just lust and there will be too many sex scenes. I have wanted to publish a romance novel, but I have come across a lot of publishers who say that readers want sex scenes in their novels and that nobody will buy a novel without sex scenes. To me if people want to read that then they can read erotica. I want to read a romance not people between the sheets every few chapters. Im also tired of paranormal romances which has been extremely popular for the past several years. What about other genres? Like ancient historical settings in greece, italy, or egypt. Or romances set in the 1900s through the 1960s. Sorry this was long, but this is what frustrates me about a lot of romances.
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Other answers
A common theme I find in romance novels follows like this: "I DESPISE YOU! I HATE YOU! I love you, I must have you. All things are forgiving without actually any form of communication over the problem at all, thus making it resurface later. *Highly over exaggerated misunderstand/problem/death defying problem inserted here - or highly improbable romantic scene here* I love you! Make with the sex. Again. I love you! Make with the sex. ANOTHER PROBLEM. Solved by sex." Watch a romantic comedy some time and ask yourself, would this work in real life? Is this how relationships really are? People inexperienced in relationships fall for this trap and even perfectly good women with good head on their shoulders fall of this as well. Ultimately it will hurt the relationships because the idea becomes: "Why isn't he doing this scenario for me if this is what I deserve?" Another common theme is having a guy either worships the ground you walk on. I've had that relationship and no woman wants to be worshipped. Oh dear god no. It's like dating an infant. There is NOTHING sexy or romantic about it.
Kate
- When they can't bare to be apart from each other ...I don't know what it's like to be 'in love' but I would want to have my own space sometimes and separate friends. I think it's unhealthy if you're together 24/7 - When they fall in love at first sight...I don't believe in love at first sight and just thinking of it makes me gag - When the guy doesn't let his girlfriend out of his sight and the girlfriend thinks he's just being protective, when the truth is that he's controlling her..
Archie and Madison's auntie
The same as you, obsessive bordering on restraining-order-worthy love. There are so many stories out there, not just Twilight, but loads more where the guy is stalking the girl (Or vice-versa) and they find it romantic, and so do the readers.
Beautiful Nightmare
Pretty much everything that you've pointed out. I'm writing a novel about a teen relationship, using all the common things you'd find in a book like Twilight, but the relationship is portrayed in a negative light. Edward and Bella, for example, are in lust with each other, and they both seem a little unhinged (stalking, obsessive behaviour, Bella's depression when Edward leaves her even for an hour!). She's far too co-dependent, and Edward abuses that to his advantage. To add, I hate it when two people in love never argue and can't seem to leave each other alone! Even if you're in love, there are going to be disagreements occasionally, because people aren't perfect.
Disenchanted Dreamer
Guy watches girl sleep, is crazy overprotectice, controls her every move. The second they meet, girl simply cannot live without him and spends every moment thinking about him. When they fall in love to fast. I'm sorry, but you do not figure out you're soulmates in a week. When they forgive to easily. That is not only an unrealistic romance, but unrealistic period. When there is a borderline obsession from either of the characters. When the two people have really nothing in common. They just 'make each other happy'. When there are no fights or disagreements about ANYTHING.
Because I Can
I like to read chemistry between the two. I really dislike it when they are around each other 24/7. Give each other room to breathe! They still have their separate lives and things to be getting on with. I don't think it's healthy to be around your partner all the time. You know, go out and enjoy time with mates, see family, go shopping...you don't always have to be with each other. Sometimes I can't help but cringe when they say "I can't live my life without you!" Like when Edward Cullen found out Bella Swan was "dead" and he was going to kill himself. Um...not a very good message there. When nothing goes wrong. They are in a relationship and you can't go sailing by without even one argument, however petty or minor. I hate when it's cheesy romance. Also, love at first sight. Reinforces the infatuation if you think you're in love with someone by the first five seconds of glancing at them for the first time in your life. A few teenage/Young Adult stories portray infatuation and not love. That's fine, sometimes you are infatuated with people at that age, but there's no need for the writer to pass it off as love. There is a fine line between them two, and I don't feel that every teenage does that. I think teenagers are smarter than what a lot of Young Adult writers give credit for. Not every teenager's first love is going to be a golden trophy they just won and can't see the specs of dirt and scratches on it. A lot of teenagers are aware of their boyfriend's or girlfriend's flaws, traits, attributes etc....They aren't all glazed-eyelids, puppy-dog love.
Katniss♆
Read Twilight and you'll know what I hate. ~ The fact that Bella (I'm just using twilight as an example) *loves* Edward but doesn't really want to marry him ~ The fact that all she seems to want from Edward is immortality and sex ~ Manipulation and overprotectiveness. (Did I spell it right? No, I don't think so) The sex thing is the biggest pet peeve - it just makes guys think that all girls want is someone who views them as an easy lay and that we don't want to be loved, bought flowers, talked to etc. grrr...
Charliesangels
Lolita. I love the book but it's NOT a love story. Critics who call it 'the greatest love story of the 20th century' or whatever disturb me. It's a creepfest about obsession, objectification, and domination. I do like love stories where the 2 characters are obsessed with each other (that's definitely part of love) but not when it's one-sided from a murdering pedophile.
Ratz
Sneaking out to be with them at midnight. Traveling all the way there to see them.
Aubrey ☮♡
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