Help!!!!look down there,what should i write?

Hi i write War genere stories and have been published locally once im writing a new novel tell me what u think

• Gateway to Nazi hell “Can you hear me?! Jesus , for a second there I thought you went deaf! You want a smoke?!” I glanced down at his hand, occupied by a half empty pack of Marlboros. I shook my head “no”. Alex retrieved one of the slender sticks and shoved it in his teammate’s hand. The hand didn’t come up, but a gunner came down, two gaping holes in his forehead and chest. “We’re taking’ fire!” I shouted. I unbuckled myself and clambered to the roof of the panzer, gripping the .machine gun and swinging it towards the Nazi . Not a moment too soon the enemies lit up one of the windows to my left with a petrol bomb, exposing us. A bullet ricocheted off the roof of the panzer directly to my side. I opened fire, putting about three short bursts inside and around the window. I saw another German troop run across a rooftop and aim an RPG-7 at our vehicle, so I decimated him. A moment later I felt gravity shift and a well of dirt kick up into my face, and then realized that our tank was on its side; we’d been hit with an IED. I crawled out of the hatch, and fell to the floor, trying to find my rifle. It ended up resting less than a foot away from me; it’s just that my arm wouldn’t move. “I guess I’m hit.” I told myself, although I couldn’t feel it. I crawled over to my M21 White feather and shouldered it, forcing myself up. Good thing, too, for not a second later about a dozen bullets hit the ground where I was a moment before. I took cover behind a German m5 Stuart, looking around for any other survivors, and I found poor Alex. Actually, I found his leg before I found him. I ran over and grabbed his drag-strap, pulled him over to the collapsed buildings and foraged around in my med pack for a blanket and morphine. “Can you still fight, buddy?” “Yeah I’m good,” He relayed back to me. “I ain’t got a rifle, though.” I cursed and gave him my back up weapon, a Berretta M9. “This is going to hurt man.” Alex bit a mouthful of his combat vest, nodding his head to me to indicate that he was ready. I ripped the cotton (containing TCP) out of the small aid package and applied it to his bloody stump of a leg, Alex screaming all the while. I retrieved the syringe of morphine and began to lift up Alex’s sleeve. “No,” Alex closed his vest quickly. “No morphine.” “Alright man.” I shoved the syringe back into my pack, saving it for him later. “Ok man, I’m going to drag you to that pub over there.” I pointed to it with a bloodied finger. “Now I’m going to need you to cover me while we run, ok?” “Yeah that’s cool.” “Ok. Three, Two,” I let my M21 drop to my chest and grabbed his strap. “One!.” I sprinted away from the building cover, Alex and pushing with his one leg. I imagine we looked pretty comical, a one legged man scooting’ along behind some guy running’ like a girl. I heard Alex’s M9 firing behind me as I dragged him across that same ditch with all dead bodies across to the pub. He picked up an AK-47 as we went. I kicked the door open to the pub and gunned the men inside. I let go of Alex and closed the door, forcing a chair behind it. I pressed my radio’s receiver to my throat. “Command this is Bravo 1, requesting medical attention at ‘The kwellt pub.” “Uh roger Bravo 1, Medical team heading your way. With ” “Hey man, we’re getting’ you out of here.” I told Alex to ensure he was calm. “ok, I need some aid though” “Its coming then we are leaving here Ok, I’m going to cover this door from behind the bar, and you cover the back door, alright?” “Yeah, sounds good.” “Okay, here we go.” I grabbed a handful of Alex’s strap and pulled him through the kitchen to the back entrance. The place was pretty much a mess. I had to position Alex in one of the rows of seats , which gave any guy who decided he wanted to put a bullet in his head a pretty dang good shot. We needed to move on. “Hey man, check this out.” I let go of Alex and retrieved a fire extinguisher about midway up a wall to my right. “If you’re out of rounds, just use this; it’ll suffocate ‘them.” I dropped a hand to my mug pouch, looking for any extra 9mm rounds. I came up with two fully loaded magazines and dropped them in Alex’s lap. Alex looked up at me, eyes full of fear. “Dude, we got this. You still got your hands, right?” Alex proceeded to check and acknowledge me. I laughed with vivid humour. “Thank god. Alright, I got to’ go to the other side, just shout if you need anything.”. Alex crawled to the other side like a true veteran. “Ok. Yeah, we got this.” I said in a confident manor. I walked back through the kitchen, spotting another fire extinguisher and grabbing the red cylinder as I strode past. I then proceeded to set up the top of bar with my M14’s magazines and zero my scope back in. I reached for my tripod and realized that it was missing. No sooner than this did I realize that the light shining under the door had what appeared to be the legs of one of the axis. I shouldered my rifle and sighted in on the door. Apparently this guy thought he was sneaking up on me; I could see his shadow tip-toe up to the doorway. That’s it, they know we’re here, I thought to myself. A sharp bark spat itself from my unleashed weapon’s barrel. The shell’s casing dropped to the floor in slow motion. I loaded my rifle, got up turned towards the door and fired the rounds through the door. The guys legs dropped towards the floor and blood entered the room through the cracks in the door. “ nice shots, but u only need one bullet to take down a ugly German patriotic fool like him” Alex suggested sarcastically. “ how did I know it was only 1 man, it couldn’t of been a whole load of them”. Drastically a small container entered through the window and onto the floor, a red gas like substance flowed out of it. This could only mean one thing the Nazis were trying to do to us. “ RPG, RPG!! Attack”, the Nazis must of saw us and wanted to give a sign to the Nazi across the river bank to aim the RPG at us and blow our brains out. I ran out of the room hearing a shuffle, thinking the noise was Alex behind me running as well, I was soon proven wrong. “ ****!, I got a cramp in my leg I cant move, I cant get up, HELP!”. I ran back to Alex and put his right arm around my left shoulder promptly and lifted him up on his only leg. We scampered out of the room and in a matter of seconds the RPG shell hit the room floor causing pernicious damage to the room. “ Damn that was close”. you could tell from Alexs voice he was distraught from being a inch away from a RPG explosion.

• Answer:

  I liked the descriptiveness about the whole battle but, found myself swimming in a mire of it by the end. You write really well but, you should probably consider a good editor before sending it to print. Either way, good luck!