Went on a first date with a guy and he didnt offer to buy my drink? Am I wrong to be put-off or is this normal?
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When I go on a first date I always offer to pay. I'm not one who likes to take money off people and I like to pay my own way. However, although I always offer to pay, and I don't mind paying on a first date I do like if the guy at least offers to buy me a drink. Especially since he's the one that's invited me out. I just think it's gentlemanly. If he allows me to buy my own drink when I offer I don't mind that too much but if he doesn't even offer I dont think thats nice. I have to say I very rarely find guys taking me up on my offer (even the ones that turn out to be jerks). Today I went on a first date with what seemed like a really nice guy. He ordered a pint of beer and then turned to me to order my drink. I ordered a malibu and coke and when the guy asked for £5.10 he handed the bartender £2.00 and I then realised I would have to pay for mine. At the point of paying I normally offer to pay for my drink but this time I didnt need to! I didnt have the change in my hand so I had to rumage through my bag and at no point did he offer to pay the balance. At the second bar as we walked up to the bar he excused himself to go to the loo. I dont know if it was deliberate to avoid paying the bill or a genuine need. I was really shocked and I actually think it's a bit rude. I did take my purse out before ordering though so maybe he saw it as a cue that I wanted to pay for myself. If he was a student I dont know if i'd mind so much but he's actually on a decent wage (if what he tells me of his job is true) and he knows I'm unemployed. Am I right to be put-off? Should I give him a second chance?
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Answer:
Yeah I can understand your point. He could be testing you to see if you would step up and he was seeing if you were just trying to get free drinks/food, etc. If everything else was good between you two I might give him a second chance. If he "conveniently" has the urge to go to the loo again at payment time then he's trying to take advantage of you and I'd quit while I was ahead. And you're right, HE asked you out so he should have at least offered to pay.
Hannahx at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source
Other answers
There is no right or wrong answer. Sometimes when guys insist on paying, girls complain that they are being objectified and find it insulting. It's really your decision.
gomanyes
Count me also in the old fashioned club that says he (or she) who asks, pays. I think that's just proper manners.
Joe
I am not reading through all that. Maybe if you divided it up I would. As is though thats Information overload. And no, he did not do wrong. There is no rule that says he has to buy you a drink. He should of opened the door, pulled out a chair, etc.. though, if he was polite and respectful.
jasin
He who initiates the date should pay!!!!!!! He asked you out so if he doesn't pay run. If he doesn't want to pay for your drink why the hell would you even want a relationship with this person. They probably shouldn't be dating if they can't afford to take a woman out. CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD.
regulator101
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I expect a man to pay the tab IF he's the one to ask me out. If I ask him out? Then I offer to pay, but that's a whole different game. I suspect this man is just cheap, and cheap men don't make good boyfriends. I speak from experience.
Arggg
Actually I would say you're the rude one for having the unrealistic expectation that not only would this guy read your mind that you want him to pay for your drink, but for expecting someone else to pay for anything for you in the first place. I really don't care who asked who out or if you're unemployed while he has a job (not his problem maybe you shouldn't be going out drinking if you can't afford to pay for it) of if you offer to pay for the entire meal. I don't expect anyone to pay for me and I get pissed if anyone expects me to pay for them. Period.
Noodles
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