How do i stop being so nice to people?

Wow...I'm just staring at your letter and I have so much to say and don't know where to start. I'm gonna start from the top of your letter. You can't teach yourself not to care. It is you. It is who you are. It is who you are meant to be. And I know that is not what you are really asking anyway. You go on caring cause that is a wonderful trait in you. Relationships- we can all tell you what you should do. But you have to have it in you to want to change. You are the only one to pur an end to the behavior that you allow on yourself. Please don't think I'm trying to hurt your feelings either. You have to be told the truth and see this for what it is. You are the one that allows everyone to bully you. They do because you let them. If they can, they will. You think that they are the powerful ones but you are the one that allows them to strip you of YOUR power. Yes, you do have some. It is called your voice. You have to speak up girl. It will not be easy in the beginning. They may push harder and pick more until they see that what they are doing is not working for them like it used to. They aren't getting the reaction from you like they used to. You say your nice and yet they still call you names. Well, you can see that's not working for you, is it now? When they push, you push. When they push hard, you push a little harder. (Not physically I mean) Once they see that you are starting to stick up for yourself they will move on to someone else. (Which is sad, but true.) When they hurt your feelings you are going to have to be strong about it and NOT cry in front of them. That is what they want. Give it and they will come back and dish out some more for you. I think that you should go to your school guidance counselor and have a private talk with her. What you say will stay between you and her. Tell her about the cheating in that one class. My idea- The following day the teacher of that class should announce that she is changing everyone's seats. Her explanation could be nothing or She is doing it because she just feels the need to have a change. Your guidance counselor will let her know of those certain people that are using you for tests and she will make sure that she doesn't sit you near them. Ask your counselor if they will help you out with this. Let her know that life has been hell for you. You don't tell people then they can't help you! And just STOP giving out your stuff. Just plain say. "Nope! Don't have anymore to spare." And stick to your guns about it too! You can also go talk to someone at a church if you need more people to talk to. You don't have to belong to one to ask to talk to someone either. Be strong. You do have it in you but your just to scared to use it. Try. Just a little bit each day. Baby steps. And don't be so hard on yourself either. E-mail me if you wanna talk more, ok? :)

Maybe you're insecure and you're nice to people in order to make them like you...try to be more confident.

Woman aren't meant to be tough. But you just need to learn to say no. If you know someone is doing something wrong to you {e.g cheating off you} you need to just tell them to stop. You must be polite always, but also be firm when you tell them. Answer mine please: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgXGHFktlS.RubcfdIV46Nbty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100413193145AA7YaQW

I have wondered this for a long time. I'm the same way. I wish I had an answer for you but I don't. Society seems to like people who are self centered. I will never understand it.

You know Yesman. You have to become Noman(or Nowoman in your case). Just don't give a **** about other people and think about yourself for awhile.

At 11, you know what i did? Since i was kinda like u but not really. I got fed up of those "ppl" i thought was my friends i looked in the mirror and said "no more miss. nice girl" From that day on i've been a total ***** to everyone....i'm 22 now, and i'm still a ***** LOL People want to cheat off you? cover ur people...people want to ask for ur ****..food or supplies tell them no and **** off. Bitches call u pimple face? Tell them about their flaws..."daddy don't love u" or "that's why u make fun of me b/c u hate urself and throw up everything u eat" Have a **** off attitude, you know? and find people u can relate to, not people who put u down~

Stop being sensitive, you're a weak link and everyone finds it funny. Now listen, there is something fundamentally wrong with theft, and everyone knows it. If someone is stealing your stuff, loudly say "HEY GET OUT OF MY BACKPACK". Nobody can support theft, especially the teacher. The thief WILL look like a jerk. If people are begging you for food, tell them to eat their own lunch and stop being pathetic. Dumb kid wants a pencil, say no, the fool probably will forget about you anyway. If bitc#y girls are $hit talking you, especially in front of the entire class, stand up and say SCREW YOU (or worse). You might get in trouble for it, all that matters is that everyone remembers you stood up for yourself. And do not cry, it's a sign of weakness. A sign that you're weakness is basic taunting. If it is, GET OVER IT. Sorry to be a hard@ss.

I went through a similar phase during middle school. I was picked on everyday and my self-esteemed was non-existant. The way I trudged through it was that I found people who I could truly trust and that's one of the things that you have to do, you have to find one or two people who you can truly call "friends." It will take trial and error but you will find them. The way you should make your stand against the ridicule at school is to first show that you can say no and mean it. Saying no and meaning it will take you a long way from being walked all over. Secondly, you may have to stand your ground when you make a change such as this, this may include verbal arguments and/or fighting. I know you are a sensitive person but you have to try and only show your sensitive side to people you truly care for, people whom if they were to disappear tomorrow you would be devastated. This process will take a long time to truly get adjusted to but you can do it. You're young and it seems like you are a good kid but you're gonna have to toughen up so those losers won't break you. P.S.-Crying doesn't show you're weak, it shows you are human. Just try not to cry around those who don't realize this. Instead, when you start to take a stand, remember, everything they've done has been a sign of weakness. You may not understand now but middle and high school are the definition of the word petty and it may seem far away but when you graduate you will realize that you were always better than them.

There's nothing wrong with being nice. In fact, it's a great quality. But, too much of anything isn't good. I know it's going to feel awkward to start sticking up for yourself at first but I promise you will feel so much better once you start. You've got the right idea about people making mistakes and deserving second chances: if you want a friend, be a friend. But if someone isn't treating you the way you'd like to be treated then why hang on to the relationship? BE MORE PICKY WITH WHOM YOU SPEND YOUR TIME WITH! NOT JUST ANYBODY DESERVES THE BEST OF YOU, THAT'S MEANT TO BE EARNED! As for people asking you for things, start telling them "nope, sorry dude, can't do it". No need to give them a reason, just say no. If they ask "why not?" answer back with a question like "well why aren't you prepared, where's yours?" Call them out on it and they won't be asking as often. In fact whenever someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, answer with a question: them- hey lemme get some food you- where's your food? them- can i get a pencil from you? you- you came to class without a pencil? them- whats the answer to #3? you- you don't know #3? didn't you study? Now, when it comes to people talking bad about you or being mean, ya need to thicken that skin a bit. Don't give people control of your emotions, that's weak. Those people are haters, let them hate. Let that hurt make you stronger. When you love you, people can't help but to love you too. You don't have to live with acne. Please check out LumiPlexionSkincare.com This company has acne products that will work miracles!