Who is Michael Phelps's girlfriend?

I think my girlfriend is possessed by a demon. Possibly Michael Jackson?

• I'm really worried about the way my girlfriend has been behaving, so i went to consult my pastor. Although he agrees that demonic possession is the only answer, he's refusing to perform the exorcism unless i introduce him and his friends to my younger male cousin, but he's out of town at the moment. After digging through some more information i became completely sure of what the problem was. Here's a few of her symptoms: -Her skin has lost ALL colour and has a very oily yet flaky texture. Her face has also become strangely angular. -She's been speaking in tongues, hissing and spitting. She has become a very lackluster conversationalist. -She has recently become very attracted to the works or Michael Jackson and child star Macaulay Culkin. -She consistently attacks religious symbols and relics, sometimes even people. -I came home a few days ago to find our young Scottish fold (Bootsy) hanging from the curtain rail :( Since my Pastor is refusing to perform the exorcism i have take matters into my own hands. The demon is currently tied up in our bedroom awaiting the exorcism, but do you guys have any tips for a first timer like me?

• Answer:

  Ignoring all the Michael Jackson references because that is just some lame attempt at trolling. Since I'm already on this page, to answer the actual question at the end. >> Before you attempt to cast out demons, you need to make sure that you have made Jesus Christ the Lord of your life which is also known as being saved and that you are filled with the Holy Spirit which is the power and anointing of God because you have no power on your own.