Im planning to travel in canada with the invitation coming from my daughter married with a canadian man?

Can you peer edit my essay due tomorrow? (9th grade)?

• okay so heres my essay. its a family narrative and idk what i should edit about it. im only in 9th grade...and suggesitions? : Big Shocker Delaying Tahiti This is a story told by my Grandma DD about an adventure she had with my grandpa, Jim Blair. Everyone in the family thinks it’s a funny story and it shows only some of the excitement in my family’s lives. My grandparents came to America from Norway in the 1900’s. My grandpa went to a school in WestPoint, Norway so he was very well educated. My grandma dreamed of coming to America after she married my grandpa, but my grandpa wished to move to Africa, where there were many job opportunities for him. My grandmother insisted on moving to America though. They took a train through Vancouver and settled in Seattle in a Norwegian community. When they came to Seattle, they didn’t know any English. Even though my grandfather was such a well educated man, he became a fisherman and a farmer because that’s what his friends were doing. My mother was born in Seattle and would go to school. She learned English there and she started teaching my grandparents English. My father was in a Seattle orphanage and he met my mother at a dance in Seattle and then they got married. By the time I was born my grandparents could speak English very well. She still had a little bit of a Norwegian accent but her words were never slurred. We moved to Vashon Island and I met my husband Jim Blair there at 17 years old. He was there with a friend at a beach house so we started dating. Two years later we were married. We had our first child when I was 25 years old and we named her Sandy. Four years later we had our first boy and we named him James. A year later we had John. One day, my husband and I were discussing vacation plans to get away for awhile. We were planning on going to a trip to Tahiti with some friends. We applied for a passport for Jim but we experienced some problems that day. The lady at the counter asked Jim where his birth certificate was. She said, “You can’t get a passport without it”. We ended up having to call his mother and ask about it. We found out he was born in Canada and adopted when he was only three months old and his father never had him naturalized. He had been living in the United States for 35 years and he wasn’t even a citizen. The sad thing was that he didn’t even know! We weren’t going to be getting that passport today. We needed a whole bunch of witnesses for him to talk about him in court. All of his friends talked about how he’s lived in The United States for as long as they could remember. He was even in the military so he had a secret clearance with him where he had privileged information that could not be released to the public and he was not a citizen. It was such a big deal at the time that we made the front page of the paper. My husband, my daughter Sandy, and I were all in the newspaper. We left Rob and James at home because they were too young, but I wish we would’ve brought them had I known we were going to be in the paper. It may have been exciting but we were upset we couldn’t go to Tahiti right away. Well it took a few months until he was finally able to get his passport.

• Answer:

  This is a story told by my Grandmother DD about an adventure she had with my grandfather, and Jim Blair. Everyone in the family thinks it’s a funny story and it shows only some of the excitement in my family’s lives. My grandparents came to America from Norway in the 1900’s. My grandfather went to a school in West Point, Norway so he was very well educated. My grandmother dreamed of coming to America after she married my grandfather, but my grandfather wished to move to Africa, where there were many job opportunities for him. My grandmother insisted on moving to America though. They took a train through Vancouver and settled in Seattle in a Norwegian community. When they came to Seattle, they did not know any English. Even though my grandfather was such a well educated man, he became a fisherman and a farmer because that’s what his friends were doing. My mother was born in Seattle and would go to school. She learned English there and she started teaching my grandparents English. My father was in a Seattle orphanage and he met my mother at a dance in Seattle and then they got married. By the time I was born my grandparents could speak English very well, although she still had a little bit of a Norwegian accent but her words were never slurred. We moved to Visionon Island and I met my husband Jim Blair there at seventeen years old. He was there with a friend at a beach house so we started dating. Two years later we were married. We had our first child when I was twenty-five years old and we named her Sandy. Four years later we had our first boy and we named him James. A year later we had John. One day, my husband and I were discussing vacation plans to get away for awhile. We were planning on going to a trip to Tahiti with some friends. We applied for a passport for Jim but we experienced some problems that day. The lady at the counter asked Jim where his birth certificate was. She said, “You can’t get a passport without it”. We ended up having to call his mother and ask about it. We found out he was born in Canada and adopted when he was only three months old and his father never had him naturalized. He had been living in the United States for thirty-five years and he was not even a citizen. The sad thing was that we did not even know if we were not going to be getting that passport today. We needed a whole bunch of witnesses for him to talk about him in court. All of his friends talked about how he’s lived in The United States for as long as they could remember. He was even in the military so he had a secret clearance with him where he had privileged information that could not be released to the public and he was not a citizen. It was such a big deal at the time that we made the front page of the paper. My husband, my daughter Sandy, and I were all in the newspaper. We left Rob and James at home because they were too young, but I wish we would’ve brought them had I known we were going to be in the paper. It may have been exciting but we were upset that we could not go to Tahiti right away. Well it took a few months until he was finally able to get his passport. There i fixed what ever error's you had in it, plus a few change's. But other then that it was very good