What makes a teacher good at their profession?

A teacher makes a 3rd grader cry?

• My son is a 3rd grader (he's 8-years-old) he's a shy and kind boy and behaves well (he'd won several "good behavior" school awards since his kindergarden days). He loved his 1st grade teacher but this year he has a teacher who seems to be not caring and very strict. At the beginning of school year she announced "I am going to raise the bar high" - sure raise your bar, but these are kids who are 8 and 9 years old, show little understanding and a bit of caring. I've met with a teacher before (she called me to school) for the first time to discuss that my son isn't paying attention in class. She sent me and my son to see a pediatrician. She also petitioned to school officials that my son would be on "extra" watch. I felt like she treated him like a child with disability but he isn't!!! She told us our pediatrician had to make an assessment if my son was ok....what kind of crap is it? When he was talking with her and I was present I saw in his behavior that he's terrified of her. He has terror when he sees her he freezes in place and afraid to make a move when she's talking to him. A few weeks ago, I had received a note that I had to sign. A note read "Throwing food in cafeteria". I asked him if he was (cause I know he wouldn't and he's very polite). He said he didn't that it was another kid doing it and when he tried to explain it to the teacher, she interrupted him did not let him say a word and preached him in front of other kids and gave him a slip for parent to sign.... I asked my husband if I needed to sign it because I believe my child and he would never lie about a thing like that to me, my husband just told me to sign it and let it go. So I admitted to this false guilt/false accusation. In past 2 weeks my son forgot his home work assignment twice in school. I think he forgets to take it because he's in a hurry to catch his school bus and afraid he'd miss it. So one time we returned she asked him to pay "school money for it". It was ok. But yesterday I drove with him to take the assignment. She was sitting in a class doing some paperwork. She stopped my son at doorway and started preaching him for 10 minutes. She said things like "when I tell the class to write things down, what are you doing?" "you have poor listening skills". My son HAD his assignment written down it's just he forgot to take home the paper he was supposed to take. So not knowing what exactly he forgot she was giving him a lesson of morale and preaching him. I was standing there like an idiot listening to this crap not sure what was I supposed to say. I did not want to engage into conflict but she was clearly humiliating my son in front of me. She was preaching him for so long that he was standing there terrified and began crying. After he began crying she let him pick up his homework from his desk. After he picked up his homework from his desk, he ran out of classroom in tears. I followed him. He was very upset crying all way to the car. He's only 8-years-old. It seems to me she almost like enjoyed watching or making him cry. I am very upset about this whole thing and I can tell from her behavior and the way she talks to my son is like she really hates him. He is terrified of her and tries to avoid meeting with her in hallway or elsewhere. If he sees her standing far in hallway, he takes another hallway in school just to avoid her. My husband is saying let it go and only like 4 months left till the end of school year but I don't know what else she is going to do to him. He used to LOVE school and ran to school and did not miss a day and now he hates school. Why would a grown woman in her late 40's maybe early 50's make an 8-year-old boy cry? Is she getting off by watching him cry? My son says she also made a girl in their class cry in front of other kids and there have been other kids who've cried she (the teacher) even bragged about it during our "meet the teacher" at beginning of school year that "kids cry in her classroom". Why do schools have such teachers? Why such behavior is tolerated? I wish there was a survey "rate a teacher" at end of school year. It's a public school can't ask for much but it's in mid class community and I was expecting to see something better from this school. Right now I am seeing how this teacher has transformed a school loving, happy kid into terrified child who's afraid of her and hates school now.

• Answer:

  You are obviously prepared to stand back and let your son be 'abused' like this - you in fact are adding to your son's problems by not siding with him when he needs your support. I'm not really surprised that you were 'referred' and you signing an 'acceptance of guilt' when your son was not guilty, shows a lack of support. The teacher may well be going over the top - in which case you need to stand squarely behind your little boy and confront the teacher to show both of them, who's side you're on.