How safe is Philadelphia's "Electric Factory?

Is my paper good? i didnt get all of it on. Its about factory Farming.?

• Did you know that the average person eats 222 pounds of Factory Farmed meat a year? My topic is about why Factory Farming should be banned. For three reasons. One because the animals are kept at high stock density, two because there is an unnatural spread of diseases, and three because this kind of meat is bad for our body. The first reason of why Factory Farming should be banned is that the animals are kept at high density. This is horrible because that means the animals are raised in thigh enclosed areas. Some animals never see sunlight. Also animals such as cows, pigs, chickens, and ex are kept in small cages and deprived of exercise. This is very cruel. The second reason Factory farming should be banned is the wide spread of disease. Do you remember when the Mad Cow disease broke out? This is because of Factory Farming. Mad Cow disease is only one of the many diseases that are spread through Factory Farming. It is most likely that if one animal gets sick then 2

• Answer:

  it sounds fine to me. perhaps some more vivid detail would help. is this persuasive? Although it may sound gross, if you are trying to wim an audience over, you should use "loaded terms or phrases." they play on emotional. For example really describe how cramp the animals are. Tell how hundreds of chickens are sufocated everyday because there isn't enough room. do you get my drift? hope i helped and nice job