Stage IV Breast Cancer?

My mom got her Stage IV diagnosis in January (after being cancer-free for 7 years). To her, her life is over. You add a death sentence to an already difficult situation (the alcoholism and the loss of her job, she's undoubtedly suffers from depression as well. She's a grown woman, and you've already seen that she can't be held against her will. That said, you need to tell your siblings. This isn't something you should go through by yourself. Your mom is too frightened to tell them. They are your support, and theirs is the advice you need.

I could have cried reading this. My heart goers out to you it really does and to you mum too. She has two serious things going on with the cancer and the alcoholism. What a shame the hospital could not keep her in. It sounds like she will continue drinking especially now she has had the grim prognosis. I would imagine with the recent deaths and her illness she has probably reached an all time low and is on self-destruct? It also sounds like you have done everything you can to try and help her. You have the right to tell your siblings what is going on with Mum as they may be able to offer you both a wealth of support. It is unfair of your Mother not to tell them. As you said they would probably want to say goodbye etc. I suspect your Mother has turned to drink even more now because of her situation and as a reaction to the death of your sisters. You also have to look after yourself as well hun. I think you should get yourself some counselling to help you through this. You could also arrange to see her doctor and discuss your mother.

Pray for her and yourself for the strength you need. Your mother has a terminal diagnosis and unfortunately the outcome will not change. She is scared and sick. Do what you can for her and know that it will be hard but she will find peace soon. I went through the same with my father. Cancer is a horrible disease. Her only comfort is in her drinking right now. If you take that away she will resent you. As far as your siblings go, if they had any communication with your mother why do they not know about her condition? If they have no communication with her maybe that is why she doesn't want them to know now. I am sorry about your mothers illness. I am sorry for your grief and pain. God be with you.

While Stage IV breast cancer is terminal, it does not have to be immediate. Women can live years with the right doctors and treatment. They are many treatment options available including cheomtherapy, radiation, clinical trials, hormone therapy (depending on ER/PR and Her2/neu status) and surgery. That said, is the alcohol causing mom to be non-compliant or is the fact that she has chosen not to proceed with any further treatment causing her to drink more thus causing her to sink further into depression and drink more? Keep in mind compliance is the key for a favorable outcome. If your able, try to talk to mom abut what her wishes are. She may just be tired - tired of the fight - and she has the right to make the choice to live a shorter life over one that may be longer but filled with doctors visits and treatments. It's important for you and your siblings to support her decisions as you must know they are not easy ones to make. Good luck to you all.

This might be hard to do, but if your religous (christian) go to her and ask her to accept jesus, and be ready to die. When her time comes, she will be at peace, you will feel satisfied and in the end you will meet each other again one day.

You need to admit her into a psychiatric hospital. She is obviously a danger to herself and incapable of making sound decisions about her own health. Tell your family. If your mom can't help herself, she needs to be somewhere with people who can and will. She needs more than you can do for her. I'm very sorry.

I have walked in your shoes and I did find my mom dead.. 10 weeks after her diagnosis. She didn't take her own life but was ready to throw in the towel. She had bilateral mastectomies and 1 chemo treatment before she died. We found out it had metastasized to her liver,lungs,ribs,clavical,spine,skull and femur.. all her doc did was give her strong pain meds.. I went to her house the morning she died and made sure she took all of her meds and when I came back in the afternoon to give her those meds I found her laying in bed to what looked like she was sleeping but I couldn't not wake her up. Your mom is trying to deal with a lot.. my mom told me that she wasn't afraid of dying just afraid of leaving us girls. We are all adults ( 21-32) but she still was afraid to leave us. She told me a few days before she died that she just wanted her mom.. my grandma passed away in June of 07 so I knew at that point we were not going to get the 2 years the doctor had told us. If I were you I would tell your siblings about your mom's diagnosis. She is trying to protect her children from pain BUT she should not have to go through this alone. Share the news with them. She needs the love and support from everyone around her. My heart goes out to you. I am still trying to heal .. it has only been a few short months for me but your family deserves to know.