How can I make my brain work faster?

How do you like my rap song I wrote?

• Let me know what you really think. I'm going to record in a few days. Instrumental: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsICCWQobBg (Chorus) Round my hometown memories are fresh\ I've had a hard life whatcha know about strife Emotional problems feeling like a physical knife Father's used to love their wife's now they can't lock sights All they do is fight taking bytes without despite While children get caught right in the middle of it all Seeing marriages fall apart another night another brawl Parent's in withdrawal thinking they can make it work They smirk around each other but all they really feel is hurt They go berserk shutting out how they truly feel inside Abiding vows they swore to god they wouldn't untie I was horrified sometimes when I listened to them bicker My Dad drowned in liquor as my mom just got thicker I would cry in my room cause I knew there was nothing I could do To make them feel for each other like they use to Maybe if revenue picked up they wouldn't argue all the time I chimed in my room and just rhymed singing (Chorus) Round my hometown memories are fresh When middle school came times only got harder I harbored so much anger that built up like tartar I was smarter I knew violence just brought more harm I'd lay my head on my arm until the end school alarm I dreamed of a better future one that had more humor I needed it sooner so I became a weed consumer Fewer peers would talk to me cause they thought I was weird I smeared hash oil on my blunts just to down all my tears Year after year I'd just hear them call me more names They were vain making gains causing kids more pain I've seen children loose more water than the sky when it rains What remained were future addicts that grew up in cocaine Word of advice don't let any drugs obtain your soul It leaves holes deeper than the biggest bullet can go So never let anyone talk down saying your worthless If that were really true you would have been birthless (Chorus) Round my hometown memories are fresh Home or school I don't know which one I hated more I combined the two because my grades were the lowest scores I explored my hobbies with all of my free time Started rhyming to beats to take my mind off of mine I was around my Mom all day because she had no job God damn my brain throbbed from being chewed like a cob Developed anxiety and my perception started slipping Omitting anger with joint licking disappointed living Something about hitting weed just calmed me down Till I had panic attacks then I was just drowning in frowns My brain became boundless I saw life so differently I gained back my dignity and now the world's my symphony Don't ever give up on your hopes and dreams Even if it seems very deem and too extreme Don't fall into the schemes that bounds the normal man Live your life span being more than you possibly can (Chorus) Round my hometown memories are fresh

• Answer:

  This song is legit: I enjoyed reading it & could imagine happening in my imagination as I read. Just seems like you tried very hard to make every sentence rhyme which is not nessassary. The song makes sense, it's deep, you wrote it with real emotion & put alot of effort into, etc. I believe you have alot of potential that you could exploit even further & manipulate with effort to become even better than you already are!