How Do I put the following on a resume?

Is this a good resume for some who has worked from home with no real work experience?

• JOHN DOE Objective I am currently seeking a full-time or part-time job with hours ranging 20-40+ hours a week. Education Fond du Lac High School Fond du Lac, Wi 52935 Graduated 2007, High School Diploma Work Experience The last four years I have been making income through online affiliate advertising on small websites, blogs, and Google Adwords using widgets and other advertising tools. When a potential customer clicks on that widget they then are redirected to the businesses website in which im promoting. When that individual converts to a customer and purchases off that website, I receive a small percentage of the companies profit. I do this for hundreds of companies to increase my potential income. I use Google Adworks in which I bid on keywords involving my affiliates products and services and they show up according to what an individual searches on Google. Every time that person clicks on my advertisement and goes to the website, I get charged per click, but my rating on my ad goes up and will now be shown more. When the person clicks the ad they are directed to my affiliates web page and are more likely to become a customer, bringing business to my affiliate and potentially earning me more money. A lot of my affiliates are small business that i get off of a website called Clickbank.com. Others I went out and found. If you look at most websites on the bottom where it says "contact us" and "careers" you'll also see "affiliate program". Its a great source of income if you enjoy working from home. Skills I am a very friendly person and i enjoy interacting with people. I am hard worker and am great when i comes to improvising and problem solving. I'm very result oriented, if something comes out poor, i strive to figure out my flaws and make way for improvements. I take pride in my work and anything that has my name on it. I am also extremely good with computers using Firefox, Internet Explorer, Microsoft Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. I am a self starter and a quick learner. I've taught numerous friends how to make income working from home. I'm outstanding with numbers, i can do math rapidly in my head with an accurate outcome. I am great with money management, i have lived on my own paying rent and bills since i was 18 using the income i make online. I am very good at following written and verbal instructions and figuring out how things work. Goals Going back to school to get a degree in business management and marketing. Starting my own business within the next 5 years. Start a class online teaching people how to work from home using affiliate advertising. Buy and sell real estate for profit (10 year plan) I KNOW THIS ISN'T IN RESUME FORMAT BUT I COULDN'T UPLOAD IT ON HERE. THE REAL QUESTION IS, IS IT A GOOD RESUME FOR SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER WORKED AT A REAL JOB, ALSO A LOT OF RESUMES HAVE BULLETS FOR WORK EXPERIENCE AND SKILLS, IS IT BAD THAT I PUT IT IN PARAGRAPH FORM?

• Answer:

  You sound fat.. are you sure you're not applying for a fast food job? **** i didn't graduate high school yet and i can write a better resume than you and with a better work experience.. haha ANYWAY: On your objective, you should be more specific as to which job you are applying to. Like "I am currently seeking a full-time job in the fast food industry with hours ...." And yes, it is horrible to have it in paragraph form because nobody is going to read all that, unless you absolutely dazzle them at the interview and they already loev you. But otherwise, they'd read like two lines and then toss it out. When you asy what you did before, don't write a freaking book. Just do bullets and list basically what you did per job thing. For the skills part of your resume: They're looking to see your SKILLS, not reasons you'd make a good family dog, okay? Put it in bullets and don't put any more than like 3 good traits about yourself. as in adjective traits like "friendly" or enjoy interacting with people. Why? BECAUSE YOURS SOUND CLICHE. Anyone can say they're friendly. Use uncommon words. Don't make them up, but don't write a generic resume. Use bullets. Don't list every signle thing you can do, and definitely do not list all computer programs you can use. Just be like, "familiar with both PC and Mac platforms and Microsoft Office files, blahblahblah. And you just told me in that thing that you're good with numbers about 3 times, using different words that mean the same thing. Your interviewer does not want you wasting their time. BASICALLY, here's the rule. Lady's skirt rule: Long enough to cover everything, (but in bullets), but short enough to keep it interesting. Got it?