How does my Shakespearean Rap sound?

How does my Shakespearean Rap sound?

• I have to make a rap video about Romeo & Juliet for English class. Give me some suggestions. Here it goes: Yo… This is going out to all my homies in Florence… Wassup, I’m Romeo, Ima homeboy from Verona, But I ain’t this play’s persona, If ya fight me I will pwn ya, Me and my homie Mercutio, Run around and play annoying pranks on you, One time we played a prank on old man Capulet, We took a dump in his restaurant like it was some kind of toilet, “There’s diaherria in my pizzeria”, he said, Dang, if he caught us, we all would be dead. I got dissed by Rosaline, The guts-gripping flax wench wouldn’t even say hi, I was feelin’ ghetto ‘till I met Juliet, The best maid a homeboy like me could ever get, Oh no, oh snap! She was a Capulet, All of them are brazen player haters like that. Wassup, I’m Tybalt, I drag-boat in Venice, I have lots of ducks, And you know what? Romeo SUCKS, And if I’m in a bad mood and you’ve got me really pissed, I’ll be sure to put you on my little “to kill” list, I named my left arm jealousy and my right arm bliss, I always have to speak in this dumb blank verse BS, I think Mercutio’s a lily livered spleen, He hates on all us Capulets and thinks he’s really mean, We all hate Benvolio, we like to shout, Montagues are saucy codpiece-sniffing louts. But me and Mercutio got into a fight, I capped him in the ‘nads so hard that he died, Romeo found out so he drank and he drived, And then he stuck me around half past five. Yea... sniff my codpiece wench!

• Answer:

  Quite clever.