Can You Please Grade My Practice SAT Essay?

Honestly rate my practice SAT essay please?

• What it said in the small box: Education either functions as an instrument to bring about conformity or becomes the practice of freedom, the means by which men and women participate in the transformation of their world. Assignment: Is the purpose of education to change the world? My Essay: The purpose of education is to change the world. The children that go to school today can become our future leaders of tomorrow. They have the ability to discover new theories and ways of life. One example is how Darwin discovered the theory of evolution. Someone taught him simple science at first, then he went above and beyond, and used his imagination. Using this bit of education, he discovered how life became life; how humans became humans. Because of this discovery, we humans are able to draw the conclusion that we evolved from apes. If we didn't know who we originated from, we would think that we just came out of thin air. Some other examples are the Ancient Greeks and Romans. The Romans taught us the number system we use today. The Greeks put that system into use, so people would be able to calculate how much space objects take up. Someone educated us and taught us that the Greeks came up with complex formulas, such as area=πr^2, and a^2+b^2=c^2. Without this knowledge, we wouldn't know how big or small objects are.We wouldn't know if things are close to us or far away from us. We wouldn't know the definitions of distance, time, and space. In conclusion, the purpose of education is to change the world in positive ways. Perhaps today's high school students can become tomorrow's leaders and discover that there's life on Uranus. Perhaps today's average middle school student will be a future president. Today's present can be used tomorrow's future. *I, myself, would rate this essay a 4/6 or 8/12 because I forgot a third body paragraph. I think I also need to work on sentence variation. I also forgot to rephrase the topic/my thesis. What do you guys think? I need opinions because I'm a sophomore, and this was my first shot at writing an SAT essay! Thanks.

• Answer:

  Its pretty good to be honest. Out of ten, il give u a 8. The ending should've been better though. Keep it up and improve on ur mistakes. Someday, you might even be the future president :) GL.