Can You Please Grade My Practice SAT Essay?

Grade my SAT Essay, please?

• So for some practice the week before the SAT(this Saturday), I decided to do an essay a day. I read some tips, and want to bring my say of 4 + 4(8) from my previous two tests to a 10-12. Please grade my essay, and tell me what I should do to my format to make it better. Also fix any grammar errors that would significantly impact my score. Prompt: Do people need discipline to achieve freedom? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. Some people believe that they might lose freedoms when exposed to disciplinary behavior; however, if one looks deeper, one can discover that discipline is necessary to achieve true freedoms due to the security it creates. The U.S Constitution, specifically the Bill of Rights or the first ten ammendments of the U.S consitituion, provides us with freedoms that would not be secured without a disciplinary attitude toward this document. I've also discovered how discipline can help allow for new freedoms when taking exams, after setting guidlines to study by. When the Articles of Confederation failed to produce a strong government for the newly formed United States of America, it was the U.S constitution that replaced it. The structure of the U.S constitution consists of specific ammendments. These ammendments allow for many freedoms to be pursued by U.S Citizens. The first ten of these ammendments, are called the "bill of rights." It is through the discipline of this document that our judicial, executive, and legislative branches of government structure and interpret our laws. For example, our right to freedom of speech allows U.S citizens to speak or send public and private messages without government inhibition. Our right to bear arms is also another freedom that we enjoy. Without the disciplinary behavior in which the U.S government treats and adheres to our constitution, we would not be secure to enjoy the freedoms that we so obviously do. Like the discipline that the government uses to fairly enforce and interpret the U.S contitituion, I also impose upon myself certain disciplines. Specifically, I use disciplinary actions to control my study and work habits for school. For example, last week when I had an A.P. Calculus exam, the night before the exam, I prepared by setting a certain time and duration in which I used to practice the problems and questions I was unsure how to solve. The next day, when I was exposed to my exam, I felt more confident and capable to freely answer the questions correctly. Furthermore, I felt as if I was more determined in achieving the score I wished for. Through the discipline of studying, I was given more freedoms when participating in my AP Calculus exam. Contrary to what some may believe, while it may seem as if by maintaing oneself through discipline one may also be restricting personal freedoms, the reality is that by using disciplinary behavior to succeed effectively in a task or goal, more freedoms and choices blossom. I experienced this when I studied for my A.P Calculus exam as well as when I learned of how the U.S government adheres to the U.S Constitution when determining laws.

• Answer:

  Your personal writing is not as strong as your articles of confed. delete that and expand on articles of confederation. Good luck