Please give me some tips improve my marks?

Please help grade my SAT essay and give me a score from 2-12 and any tips to improve?

• Prompt: Are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society? Essay: Jean Paul Sartre once said, "Man is free to write the script for his own life." This quote is true to a certain degree. Laws and the unwritten rules of society limit our choices to ones that will not make an embarasssment of ones self or harm other people as shown in Nathaniel Hawthorne's, The Scarlet Letter, and our country's legal system. In the novel, The Scarlet Letter, there is a young woman named Hester Prynne that is publicly humiliated due to her decision to give birth to a child borne through adultery. Although she did this through her own free will, it was widely received with criticism by her town. This novel is a great example of the limits society puts on ones ability to make his or her own choices. Our country's legal system puts a stop to all the violence and unjust ways that goes on. People that decide to rob a store or rape a random girl on the streets must first stop and think about the consequences: from paying a fine to doing the time. Typically, the thought of these punishments will prevent the crimes from occuring. Although many say they are free to do as they please, it is only to a certain extent. We are still bound by our country's laws as well as what is considered acceptable in our society.

• Answer:

  Tip: The essay should fill up the whole two pages given. That's the only way you'll get a 12. It sounds good, but I'd include more information.