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How do I deal with my mother who has caused me so much pain?

  • I am 26 years old, female. I am an only child and I live with my mother. My dad died when I was 18 years old. Right now, I am experiencing a lot of emotional drift from my mom. She has caused me so much pain. When I was 13 years old, she wished that I died when I was still a baby. When I told her about it, she said she could not remember it. When I was five yrs. old, she held a knife in front of me because she was so pissed of me. I recently engaged in a business to help out with financial needs so she can eventually retire her from working. One day, I asked her some help to invite or at least promote my business meeting to her friends and the she said "that is so difficult" I just kept my mouth shut. She has caused me so much pain that lately I just can't talk to her or hang out with her. Then, she would say remember I did everything for you before... blah blah... I am hurting and I am feeling guilty at the same. I tried talking to her so many times but she wouldn't even listen. Please help.

  • Answer:

    I cant say that i know what you are going threw but i had a similar experience with my father figures. I have been put into two abusive marriages and recently my dad has a lot of bitter feelings. The only way i handled it was God. You just got to forgive and go on and pray that God will soften her heart. It isn't your fault that she is acting the way she is acting it is her choice to do it. Prayer is a powerful thing, I've witnessed it.

Lyn V at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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recently? from what you said she is abusive and always has been you need to move out to your own place help her why? she acts like you owe her something she's toxic get away from her

swddrb

You cannot change her. She is who she is, whether she's a nice person or not. All you can do is forgive her for being a terrible person, and move on with your life. I have a hurtful selfish negative birthmother too. And finally I learned that she will never say what I want to hear. She will never support my efforts. She will never say thank you or good job. And once I stopped expecting her to, it was easier. I expect my birthmother to be selfish and hateful. That way when she is, I was already prepared. You gotta just live your life as you see fit and not ask for her approval or help. Forgive her and love her. She is who she is.

Chickadee

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