Find solution
How often should a teenager go shopping?

My mum is way too protective and I think I am starting to hate her?

  • I know that's a bad thing to say and that's why I don't want to have to say it, but I do. My mum never lets me go anywhere, and I am 13. There is a shopping centre a 10 minute bus ride from my house and she won't even let me go there with my friends even if I offer to ring her every half hour, if I'm only out for 3 hours. She won't let me out by myself to the corner shop because I have to cross an alleyway and 'you might be texting and get distracted'. We've lived here all my life and I can't remember seeing a single car going through that alley. It's halfway through the summer and I haven't been out with my friends once (except going to my friends house) and she didn't even want me to leave her house to the park a two minute walk away. Whenever I misbehave at all like skip one mark in my grade she changes my facebook password and I'm pretty sure she looks at my friends' accounts because one time my friend alice updated her status saying she was going on holiday and then my mum asked where alice was going. I put a pin code on my phone three weeks after i got it because i suspected my mum was reading my texts when i left the room. so it's the summer now and i told my mum i wanted to go out with my friends to thorpe park and she said okay cool but she'd need to be in the park with us at all times. this seemed okay to me even though i would've prefered if she wasn't. i told my friend kitty about this and she said her dad was offering to take us to the park and pick us up as long as we called him every hour which seemed pretty reasonable to me, so i told my mum and she said no way in hell because i want to be with you and i told her i'd prefer it if she wasn't because then it would be difficult to talk about stuff and she completely flipped out saying stuff like: how do you think that makes me feel? do you even love me? i'm your mother, you're only 13 for god sake. i asked why she had to be there and she said because i need to make sure you're safe and i said kitty's dad could do that and she said no i want to go to thorpe park myself and she's a 40 year old woman. i told kitty about this and she didn't seem too keen and i can understand why because we're perfectly capable of ringing our parents every hour and now she doesn't even want to come anymore. my friends are starting to doubt my friendship because i'm not allowed to meet up with them. i told my mum this and she said 'good because i don't like those friends of yours, since you've met them you've become secretive and i dont like it i might even pull you out of your school' and i think that's totally out of order because every 13 year old in the country is allowed to go shopping with their friends. i told this to my mum and she said 'i didn't let your sister out till she was 15 and she was fine' but my sister is 20 now and i spoke to her and she said it took a massive toll on her social life and she lost a lot of friends and still hasn't gotten over it. two of my close friends think i don't like them now because i'm not even allowed to the frickinn park (tree and river park, not theme park). my mum is so protective all the time and she said even if my friends don't go i have to go with her and i think that would be just be humiliating, a teenager going to a big theme park with mummy while all her friends go off. she said i'm too rebellious and secretive at the moment and she wants to pull me out of my school if i don't find a new friendship group or 'change my terrible attitude'! if i was older i would actually move out. i'm sick of my mum being so bloody protective and it's making me just want to die i'm sick of her treating me like i'm a 3 year old. i've tried talking to her but she just says she wants to see more of me and i'm going to thorpe park with her. i know i'm not old enough to be going up to london to big shopping centres and stuff like that but not even to the park? she says my sister had to survive but she lost a lot of her friends. please help ♥

  • Answer:

    you should try and explain to your mum calmly that you are 13, and that you'll be perfectly fine, or you could try getting your older sister to talk to your mum about how it made her feel when her mum did this to her, and maybe that will make her realise what she's doing to you and the effect it'll have? or maybe ask a close friends parent to talk to her?

xxcharlo... at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

Was this solution helpful to you?

Other answers

my moms same way, i sat down with her and told her how i was adult and i needed her to trust me,,,, it will open her eyes and she will loosen up

That's a tough one. While your mother is making choices she thinks are best for you, she is obviously having a negative impact on your life. She needs to realise she is probably doing more harm than good to you. I knew someone who was a in a similar situation. She was 16 and her mother wouldn't even let her cross the street by herself ! It all stemmed back from when her mother was looking after a child and the child got run over by a car. Could it be that your mother is consciously or unconsciously trying to protect you from some harm she has witnessed and experienced before? If that is the case, you could try and talk to her about it, making her see some sense. For eg, it's not because there was a plane crash some time ago that we should stop flying altogether.etc. Life is all about taking calculated risks. There may be more risks (emotional damage) if you didn't go to the park than if you didn't. If she is just being over protective, could you try and get your sister to have a word with her? If not, are you close to any adult who could talk to her? Make her realise that if you are not given some leeway, things may get worse.

Does she trust you? She needs to relize that your not a child anymore. Show her that your responisvle enough to take care of yourself. Always have your phone on you and maybe have her Agree that you go out for an hour, and then show her you will be responosble. And then take it to an hour an half and then two hours. Something like that... Good luck :)

I know how you feel, I have the exact same problem except I'm nearly sixteen.!! I'm not allowed to catch a bus to or from school (which is like a ten minute drive) which is crazy coz i'm old enough to go for my licence, or go anywhere with my friends without her saying there has to be parental supervision. I now have hardly any friends coz of this. I've talked to her but it doesnt work... She is so over protective and i hate it!!!! I hope you have better luck when you're sixteen! :P

How can she see more of you if you're already tied good and tight to her apron strings. I think your mum is overcompensating for something that's happened in her past. If you are able to talk to her about sensitive things, try asking her if something happened to her when she was younger to make her this way, even if she says no, tell her that there are counsellors that can help with any problems she has. It might be better to get your sister to speak to her. If she's not going to listen to you or your sister, you need to find someone that she will listen to. Talk to a teacher, they might know how to handle this. You might want to consider a social worker, I know social services won't take you off her because you are definitely not in any danger, but she is not meeting your basic needs and a professional might be able to get that through to her. She won't thank you for getting social services involved but it might be your only option if she's really as bad as you are making out. Another thing, she's your mum, don't hate her, she's doing what she thinks is best for you.

just explain how you feel

Hate is a strong word child, use it wisely.

Related Q & A:

Just Added Q & A:

Find solution

For every problem there is a solution! Proved by Solucija.

  • Got an issue and looking for advice?

  • Ask Solucija to search every corner of the Web for help.

  • Get workable solutions and helpful tips in a moment.

Just ask Solucija about an issue you face and immediately get a list of ready solutions, answers and tips from other Internet users. We always provide the most suitable and complete answer to your question at the top, along with a few good alternatives below.