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Is cooking school worth the money?

Money issues, who pays for what?

  • I'll try and cut a long story short.. I am fed up of arguing about money with my partner, since we got together 8yrs ago our money was put together. We have a mortgage and 2 children and for the past 5yrs we have struggled, we ran up some debt and had to do an IVA 3yrs ago. Since then i have taken control of the money, (his aswell, as he is not good with money and gets himself into debt), we both smoked but i quit almost 3yrs ago to save money, he went onto roll ups but wont quit. We have no spare money and just about pay for bills ect. Arguements start cuz my partner will say he needs money for this and for that and when i try to explain we have no money he kicks off,i end up having to give him the money then struggle. I got fed up with struggling that i told him he can have 100 pound a month and once its gone its gone, that money would pay for his cigs, he then starts having a go cuz he needs extra money to go out, about 50-60quid (he doesnt go out much and neither do i,but when i go out i only take 25 as i feel guilty for spending any more). He says i have no right to stop him spending his money, its his cuz he goes out to work, i have an evening cleaning job, its not much but i have to work around him as i need someone to look after my kids of 4 and 6yrs. He makes me feel worthless for not working more hrs. I also feel like his thinks he has more power over me and he's better than me cuz he works fulltime and pays for bills. Now he has his wages paid into his savings account and gives me money each wk to pay the bills, i have my small wage and child tax credits for food, petrol ect, i have 480 a month to feed a family of 4 put roughly 80 in petrol,pay for school dinners and anything else that needs paying for. He pays the bills that are direct debits in my account as his credit score is so bad he cant open a current account. A couple of wks ago his pc packed up and he got a 2nd hand one and i lent him the money but told him i will take it back as i need it, he has been giving me the weekly amount needed to pay the bills but today i told him he is short cuz he brought the pc, he then had a go at me for taking the money as it was for bills but i needed that money for food shopping, he then says i should budget my money better cuz how is he supposed to pay for his pc when he has to buy his cigs, he said if the bills dont get paid its my fault as he has given me enough. I am just so fed up of the way he makes me feel, he makes me feel like a thief,i always go without cuz i normally end up having to put some of my money into my bank otherwise i'd get bank charges. And all he can say is he pays the bills and tells me how i dont understand that its him that keeps a roof over my head. But i make sure he is fed and do his cooking, washing and cleaning, i do everything for him, i dont even ask him to do any housework. Am i in the wrong, should i be paying more towards the bills? How do other couples sort the money and bills out when one is in fulltime work and the other is at home bringing up the children?

  • Answer:

    A relationship should not be 50/50, it should be 100/100, your husband isnt doing anything. The only thing you can do, is just pay what you can for you and your kids, leave him out. If his laundry doesnt get done, if he doesn't have a full plate of food, you get the point, let him know that the kids come first and they MUST have food, and be provided for properly. you need help with everything, and if he isnt doing anything, then make him learn his lesson

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your in the right and he is in the wrong it is too bad you cant leave him because i would he is one selfish man he should be the one taking the second job he only thinks of himself he knows you are trapped and he knows how to upset you. I feel really bad for you all I can do is say pray and ask for some guidance on how to handle your life

First of all, you do have a job. You are working outside of the home. And you are working inside of the home as well. Raising children and keeping a house aren't easy tasks and anyone that says they are is a liar. As to your partners issues, you had a joint account and he took over control when you were already having difficulties paying bills and made it even more difficult to pay your bills. Now he is acting like it is your fault that things aren't getting accomplished. Your partner isn't acting like an adult. He's acting like a spoiled little kid who isn't getting his way. The only way to control it is to be forceful and demand that he grow up. If you don't stop this then he's only going to make the entire situation worse and your kids are going to suffer. He'll finally figure it out then, but by then it will be to late. Show him where the money is coming in and where it's going out and explain to him that his spending habits just aren't fitting in with the money coming in. If he can't understand straight numbers then he'll never understand.

Tell him there is no money for his habits and he best get 2 jobs.

Not only is this guy immature, irresponsible, and a total jerk, he's also a bully and enjoys abusing you emotionally. You need to get out of this toxic relationship. Struggling on your own HAS to be better than living with this @sshole. Take your money, your account and get out.

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