Help please! Stuck on msn?

Big problem with a straight guy, please help?

• There is a straight acquaintance of mine who I completely fell in love with. We saw each other everyday for 2years and I have given him massive clues and hints that I am interested in him not only in a sexual level but also a meaningful one. He has responded to my advances but like I did, he did it in indirect ways. You could say we were just prolonging the inevitable (confessing my love for him in the end). We don’t know each other that well which is weird because the way he communicated whatever he thinks or feels towards me (I use to write romantic lines to let him know my feelings for him by changing my msn screen name and he would respond to it) were as if he‘s encouraging me to pursue him (show him what I got). Talk is cheap here, our actions spoke a massive boom! I finally told him my feelings after two years of mind games and he said he don’t swing that way, that he doesn’t know me that well and its not normal. After hearing this I fell apart because I was so sure that I got his attention and during this two year adventure, he did not deprive me of hope. I was so depressed, and now uni finished I know ill never see him again. But 2weeks after we finished, he had made his presence known to me again in the usual indirect way (changing his msn screen name) I don’t understand what he wants me to do. Does he want me to be his friend? Or is he just curious and playing with me? I tried talking to him once but he doesn’t feel all that welcoming. During the two years in uni every time we saw each other it felt like he wants me to talk to him or at least get to know him better. But I didn’t because every time I tried he was evasive and my feelings for him were overwhelming my rationality. Is he confused? He has all the power in this ''relationship'', what I think now is that if he wants me then he will talk to me but I hate waiting (if he ever does want me to be his friend) I'd like to think that I’m a person who takes the first move, the initiative rather than waiting for my company to give me the cake. Because I’m in love with him, I find it hard to let go of these feelings. And considering my social position with him, it is impossible for me and I don’t have the right to talk about my feelings for him. So I am in a desperate situation. This is why I started believing in the philosophical, all those ‘’if its meant to be its meant to be’’ BS. We still have contact in msn, he has not blocked me. This kind of give me some hope that he is interested in me being closer to him but I could be distorting the reality. It could be that he doesn’t want to be harsh as to completely get rid of someone in his life who went crazy for him for two years. I’m not sure. Its been 5months since I haven’t seen him but I feel so painstakingly stuck. Because I got used to encountering him everyday in uni for 2years, not one day since uni finished did I not feel like my day was incomplete. And what is weird is that I feel him everywhere I go. And I think of him like every minute of the day even when I have work. The worst times are when I try to sleep because every time I close my eyes I imagine the things we could’ve done, the things that I didn’t do which I regret as I had so many chances to do them despite of the awkwardness it would have caused to him and his face. I tried blocking and deleting him in msn but every time I did, I add him back again hoping that for another time he’ll communicate with me again by changing his screen name. Thinking back, the only reason I could think of why I didn’t deliver him my 100% when I had the opportunities and when it seemed like he was encouraging it is because he came way too early in my life. I was nothing, I couldn’t even think straight! I wasn’t planning on settling down this early as I need to find my self first. I keep praying that one day I’ll see him again when I’m more fulfilled, my soul ready and I’m more stocked up in life (in terms of resources) to make sure that I could live the glamorous lifestyle I am planning to make (ultimately to share all the I am and all that I have with him). But by then things would have changed and he probably would’ve settled down with someone and I would be there standing in front of him telling him that he was the reason why I became successful only to know he’ll just coldly ignore me. So, do you think I should act and build a relationship with him now while the pot is still quite warm (not that warm in fact it feels like normal body temperature at the moment 37 degrees Celsius) or just leave it up to fate, destiny, whatever? I feel that I will see him again but I don’t believe it. Please help, I can’t move on if I’m still in love…

• Answer:

  I think he is just playing with you , he does that intensionally but i don't think he wants to hurt your feelings he just likes the attention you give him , makes him think that he is important Give up , don't bother , he wont be with you in this life. I know Its hard for you but ...‘’if its meant to be its meant to be’’ :)