What are some good things to list in an application?

Is this a good personal statement to put on a college application form, PLEASE HELP!!!?

• I ma applying for a course that teaches media make up. I don't know if my punctuation or presentation is any good, will you read through? Its not my finished work, I know it need more on here, what else should I add?, I can't think straight because I have to get this out very soon. The statement: I have always been very interested in theatrical and media make-up, I am particularly enthusiastic about special effects make-up, its a subject I have always been interested in. I have bought equipment such as: (Bullet point list of products I have) These are just some of the things I have used, and I love experimenting and trying new products. I also have books and magazines on the subject, and I like learning new techniques, and practicing on either myself or friends. I am very open minded and enthusiastic to learn different types of make-up design and application, I am a very keen artist and look forward to learning and practicing in a college environment. Savini's Special Make-Up Effects School. This is a subject I am very enthusiastic about, it is an opportunity I wouldn't take for granted.

• Answer:

  "I have always been very interested in theatrical and media make-up, I am particularly enthusiastic about special effects make-up, its a subject I have always been interested in." ^That is redundant - you don't need to proclaim your interest twice in the same sentence. Work on it a little more; try out different words. But you have a good basis so far...