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Pregnant and my fiance is addicted to online dating sites? help?

  • I found out on October 28th that I'm pregnant. I'm about three months right now. It was unexpected, but we're both very happy and excited about it. We've been engaged since March, long before I ever found out about the baby.. But I recently found out that he's been going behind my back joining online dating sites and sex sites, posting pictures of his "business" on these sites, and on the profiles he's making he either says he's single and just looking for sex or that he's just looking for discreet casual sex and that he's in a relationship. This isn't the first time I found sites like this on the computer. The first time he denied all of it and blamed it all on his brother.. But this was the first time he put pictures of himself up, so there was no way of him blaming anyone else... So I confronted him about it, he tried to lie to me about it, but in the end he admitted to all of it. He cried and apologized and swore he didn't mean to hurt me and that he was just confused but that he'd never do anything like that again or do anything to risk losing me... I almost left him but, of course, I decided to forgive him and give this another chance. And of course, I just found out that he's been using more online dating and "discreet sex" sites.. And I also found links to sexual web cam sites.. And conveniently enough, he just got a web cam. If I wasn't pregnant, this wouldn't be so difficult. I've talked to him about this, he knows it hurts me, he knows I don't want him on these sites. I don't understand how he can tell me he loves me and then turn around and get on an internet site looking for casual sex. I just don't get it. He tells me I provide him with everything he needs, but he's still getting on these sites after telling me he's not and telling me that he's changed. Are there any men left in this world who aren't filthy, sex crazed, compulsive liars? I don't want to stay with a man who has any inclination to cheat on me while I'm carrying his child. Not only because it hurts my feelings, but if these sex sites and dating sites ARE going further than just the computer screen, and if he's actually cheating on me and he gets some sort of std, and then comes back to me and gives it to me, while I'm pregnant with his child, it could harm the baby. I really do love him, but this obsessive behavior over these sites is really starting to piss me off. I've been 100% faithful and loyal to him the entire time we've been together. And this is what I get in return. Things are so good between me and him, and then I find out this is still going on. I don't know how much more of this I can take. He knows how I feel about it and yet he continues to do it.. I don't know what to do, I'm so torn. I love him and I want to make things work, but he's putting in no effort and continuing to join these sex sites and dating sites. I want what's best for my child. I don't want my child to come from a broken home. Has anyone else been through this? Fiance addicted to online dating sites while you were pregnant? How did you handle it? What did you do?

  • Answer:

    He's basically looking to cheat on you as discreetly as possible so that you won't find out, but you did and he still continues to use the sites. You need to pack a bag and stay with family or a friend for a few nights. You have to think about things and give him an ultimatum, he either goes to therapy or the relationship is over. If he's looking for outside sex, he will eventually find it and you dont deserve a husband who will do that to you.

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I dated a man who was a lot like that, he was addicted to porn and online sex sites. There was nothing I could do to change him because it was an addiction. I decided instead of allowing it to belittle and destroy my self worth I left him and moved on with my life. It was hard, because like you I loved him...but I loved myself more. You are pregnant, and it will be a hard decision...however I would rather be alone raising my child in a healthy "broken" home than a disfunctional home where the father of my child is scowering the internet looking for sex. Good luck to you.

he's just extra horny and cannot control his actions, instead of just masturbating while u are pregnant... so he seems to be a lousy character. i dunno how u can correct this to be honest unfortunately :(

the truth is, this is an addiction for him. He doesn't do it so much because he doesn't love you, but because he is addicted to it, and there probably some emotional hole he is trying to fill with it. He will not be able to stop unless one of two things happens: something traumatic that turns his life around (you leaving him would be one) or he gets therapy. The other thing to keep in mind is that, as much as you love him, you don't deserve to be cheated on. and your baby doesn't deserve a daddy that isn't faithful to you. I would give him the ultimatum. He must go to therapy, or you will leave him, and be strong enough to follow through or you will deal with this for the rest of your life. .

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