When ppl are rude to me in front of my child?

Tired of ppl criticizing my daughter?

• I don't mean random ppl but family members. For example, my 2 y/o daughter is still on the bottle (which isn't a big deal to me, bc I was on it til 3 and a half) and I know that looks funny to ppl for some reason. I know the risks of it like dental problems etc but I can vouch that I have perfect teeth according to myself and others and have never had a single cavity in my 27 yrs of life and I drank from the ba-ba til 3.5 yrs old. I do make efforts to put her on a sippy cup but soemtimes I get really tired of the battle. I am even more tired of other ppl being bothered by it or hiotning it's unhealthy---like my mil, gil, and even my own brother, whose wife (sil) is a different kind of mom than me---not better or worse, just more strict and firm. Then there's this double-whammy with this scumbag of my mom's bf who knew my mom was married when he met her 3 yrs ago and my mom divorced my dad for him just a few mons ago after we all found out it was more than a friendship, now he lives where my dad used to lvie as my dad let my mom keep the house. To add insult to injury, this guy who hasnt spoken to one of his daughters for over 14 yrs (her choice, not his) ha the nerve to criticize my child on christmas day when my brother and his family and I and my daughter (her daddy works nights and had to sleep) says after my brother and his brood leave, "those kids are really ell-behaved". And then when my mom said good-bye to my daughter when we were leaving, she was telling my daughter "you're such a pretty girl, and good girl too" and then he comments "yeah so god that she almost broke the christmas tree ornaments". My daughter had been playing with the ornaments and ran off with them when we told them to give it back. She was being defiant but shes not any worse than other 2 y/o's I've seen. Also for the record, my niece and nephew were playing with them first, and putting them on the floor. So I said, "well my niece and nephew were playing with it too so don't just blame her" and then he says "yeah but they willfully surrendered" which is true---they did give it back when told the 1st time. Basically, I wish he wasnt even there in the 1st place; secondly, I have to take criticism about my daughter, IN FRONT of my daughter, ON christmas day, from him too?? Then there was this argument that my partner had w/his mom about our daughter and how were raising her, saying shes a "spoiled brat and rotten thing" a few days ago. And she s a very critical person. She hates that shes on a bottle, and also says we dress her too tacky when those are days where I need to do laundry that she happens to see her in a non-matching outfit. I was mad she said this. I feel like I know my daughter has some tantrum issues and no shes not perfect but not any better than other kids. and I love my niece but find it weird how she never has tantrums at 2 and that one day will implode. I had told a friend of mine about this who sometimes watches my daughter (she has a daughter the same age and they're friends), and she told me that my daughter is very sweet and she cant see any spoiled-ness in her. And I don't either. I just see my daughter as a normal 2 year-old. I agree I need to instill more discipline in some areas but thats my error and not hers. And there was this little boy about her age at this song time today at the library who IMO was "worse" than her you could say---she wouldn't share a stuffed monkey she'd found in the kids' section (and always plays w/when we go there) but there were plenty other stuffed toys but he wanted THAT one---and his parents even said "she had it first" so then I encouraged her to share, she said no, and he was about to smack her in the face when the parents intervened. I didn't even think to myself "what a brat" though he was about to hit my daughter, I just understood he was 2 yrs. old---why cant these ppl I'm talking think like i do? Why is my 2 y/o expected to be sow ell-behaved? Why am I expected to "fix" things all the time? To top it off, I got laid off and am unemployed lookign for a job and am alone all day w/her pretty much bc her father works nights and sleeps during the day. I can say it's much harder to be alone all day w/her and night 24/7 than it was when i was working 9-5 (actually 8-4). i get no breaks and I get tired of tantrums and whinign too, so i can see why they get annoyed but they only have to be around it 5 min., I have to eb around it all the time. Now my daughter is sweet and calm most times and pleasant but yes she has her daily moments of frustration and whining that I do dread listening to. But ppl criticizing her to me in front of her---when shes sensitive, very smart, and can understand a lot more than ppl think---isn't helping anything. How can i deal w/these ppl whom i cant just

• Answer:

  this is too long you need to draw better boundaries your mother married this dude, your mother left your father, your mother moved this crappy pseudo-grandpa into her house -- she's not an innocent bystander; again, draw boundaries, don't keep bad people close to your family "those are days where I need to do laundry that she happens to see her in a non-matching outfit" -- okay -- do you dress _yourself_ in non-matching clothes? If yes -- have some self-respect; don't go out looking like a slob. If no you might want to consider upping your standards for your kid that's cool that she is on a bottle, whatever, nursing two-year-olds are still nursing -- but is she going around with one popped in her mouth at all times? How do these people even know? Why is she having one while out and about? Don't use it as a plug to shush her up; keep it for bedtimes, cuddles at home, as one would with nursing, and you won't get flak about it, and she'll be better off for it by carping about another 2yo's behaviour ("worse"?) you're bringing yourself down to your trashy relatives' level; don't do that