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How can i sleep at night?

How can I get my two year old daughter to sleep through the night, in her own bed?

  • 18 weeks ago, our daughter started to wake in the middle of the night and come into our room. She is in a toddler bed, can open her own door and is 25 months old. She can climb over a stair gate too. We immediately put her back down in her own room and walked away saying night time darling. 5 minutes later, she was back in again. Took her back to her room, said nothing. 5 minutes later, back in again to us, put back in her bedroom...and thus is continued all night. We have been consistent in this approach for 18 weeks now. Also tried taking privileges, playing music, leaving light on/turning light off, black out curtains etc. We check the temperature of her room throughout the night too. We also tried changing the bed time, but whether she is put to sleep at 5pm or 8pm, it makes no difference. Sometimes she naps in the day, other days she doesn't, also has no effect on the night sleep. Her normal night now is as follows: 5.30pm dinner time 6pm bath time 6.30pm cuddles and songs 6.45pm brush teeth and into bed 6.55pm story time 7pm lights out 7.05pm asleep. 12am awake and in to us, put back to bed 1am awake and in to us, put back to bed 2am awake and in to us, put back to bed 3am awake and in to us, put back to bed 4am awake and in to us, put back to bed. She is then awake and in to us every five to fifteen minutes until 5.30am when we have to get up for work. My husband and I both work full time in stressful jobs and we all desperately need some sleep. My husband copes better than me without sleep (he's a bit of an insomniac, so I don't know if this has a bearing on out little ones behaviour), so it is often him that will get up to her in the early hours, while I take the later hours. We also have a 5 year old daughter who sleeps through the whole process every night! My little girl has eczema so we can't use night time bath products, but do use lavender essence in her room. If anyone has any advice or own experience of this I would be most grateful for you to share it. Everywhere I have looked so far to research this gives advice on how to get toddlers to go to sleep. We have no problem with that bit!! I read somewhere today that 'You shouldn't give up with the putting back to bed technique, even if it takes more than 90 minutes' We've been doing this for 18 weeks now, so I think we deserve credits for perseverance!! Many thanks for your time in reading this.

  • Answer:

    Firstly take her to the doctors and make sure that there isn't some medical reason for her behaviour, a silent ear infection, a heart problem or something else. If that in not the case go see an child occupational therapist, they may find what the problem is. Check your phone book. They deal with child sleeping disorders.

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Wow! 18 weeks... I'm impressed both with your perseverance and that you can still type after 18 weeks of no sleep! My husband and I had the same problem when our son was about that age, but after two weeks of putting him back to bed immediately without much interaction, he got bored of getting out of bed and started staying there until morning. So, I guess I can't be that helpful... except to say that it looks like you're doing everything right. Not only are you and your husband getting very little sleep... your daughter is getting hardly any sleep too. Normally, she would get exhausted and sleep at some point. So, maybe she has sleep apnea or some other physiological sleep problem? I'd ask her pediatrician and google "childhood sleep disturbances." Here's a website that talks about childhood sleep disorders: http://www.childrenshospital.org/clinicalservices/Site1547/mainpageS1547P0.html

dont talk to her at all, put her back into her bed then walk out. try a reward chart...a sticker every night she stays in her own bed....then after week a special reward

The stickers thing isn't going to work in this case as it happens too far after the event. It has become a training thing and your daughter is now doing this from habit. Whilst you are doing the right things by taking her straight back, not giving attention during the episode etc you need to take it a step further and train her that she shouldn't even be leaving the bed in the first place to come and see you. This is going to leave you absolutely shattered for a week or two but the quickest way to retrain your daughter to stay in bed you and your husband are going to have to take it in turns sitting in her room through the night. Every time she wakes, re-assure her very quietly and calmly but importantly, don't let her leave the bed (unless it's a toilet visit). Ideally give her a re-assuring touch in total silence. After a few days or a week let her know in the day time that you may have a few jobs to do in the night so if she wakes and you are missing it will only be for a moment and you will be back. That night and for the next few, sit outside her door. Once you hear movement, go in as if you were just on your way there anyway, give her a touch in silence or just let her see you while you re-tuck her bed or something and sit in the corner of her room in silence until she sleeps again. Gradually she will have the confidence that you are always around such that when she does wake in the night she won't need to come and see you as she knows you are always close and about if she needs anything. This is purely a confidence and training thing but I don't envy you the process as you are going to lose a bit of sleep over a week or two as you re-train her. All for the best in the long run though. Good luck.

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