How do I create moving pictures?

How do i tell my children i'm moving away?

• my wife and i are separated and are both unemployed. i used to own a very successful design company before the economy died and have been bartending and pursuing other ways to make money since then. at the same time i have been trying to find more stable, professional work in the town we live in. the job market here is terrible and i think it's time to accept reality and relocate to a place where there is a bigger job market (outside of NYC) and where I could live with family for free for the time being. my wife has the options of doing the same and going to florida where her family is or coming up near me, where we both grew up, and seeking employment up there as well, while enabling the children to be close to me. she insists on staying here and making it work somehow. neither of us agree with the move the other is making. she continually tells me that i'm a deserter and that i'm not concerned with the fact that my kids are going to grow up with a whole host of problems because their father isn't around. she says if i was a real man i'd stay here and work 3 jobs to be near my kids. let me state this clearly. I am moving because i am attempting to build a future for myself and for my children. i'm 36 years old. finding a job isn't easy. i don't intend on staying in this town and risk dooming the futures of my children, who are 2 and 5, by getting older and less desirable to employers, while i could be in a different location doing things to advance my career and create better opportunities for my kids. my ultimate goal is to end up near my kids again, as soon as possible. if it means being able to move to one of the closer metro areas after some time, or if it means i go where i'm going and end up making six figures and she's still here struggling, in which case I expect that she would bring them closer to me. now, i'm leaving next monday and the kids don't know yet. i wanted to tell them last week while they were staying with me and my wife insisted that i don't do it then, and that i seek guidance on how to break the news. we spoke with a therapist before we told them we were separating and received sound advice that i think could be used again, coupled with other affirming thoughts. i wanted to spend some time with my daughter today to discuss the move one on one, so that we could connect and speak about the need for the move, the difficulties we'll face, and how i'm going to do everything i can to be abele to move near her as soon as i possibly can. my wife wouldn't allow me to pick her up and has insisted that i seek ideas from other people who really know more about this than i do. in a world where it seems people have no confidence in their own ability to make decisions on their own now that there are articles on every single subject online, i thought i would turn to yahoo answers to see if there is any advice anyone might want to share. here is a brief list of what i intend to tell her, written as if speaking to her (for much easier grammar): i know it's been a big adjustment for me and mommy to not live together you've done a great job of coming back and forth between our houses and behaving well and asking questions when you had them i just haven't been able to find a good job like i used to have here i'm going to move to nj by your grandparents where i'm sure i can find some good work when i do, it's going to help me take care of you guys better. i know it's been frustrating that we haven't been able to do all of the things that you like to do and once i find a good job, you'll be able to start doing those things again i'm going to work as hard as i can so that i can live near you as soon as possible until then i'm going to see you every day on the computer and talk to you on the phone whether i come down here or you come by me, i'm going to see you at least once every month we're all going to be ok. you'll be ok, your brother will be ok, your mom will be ok and i'll be ok it's not going to be easy, but i know we can all handle it cause we're all really strong and love each other very much. i'm going to miss you like crazy and you're going to miss me and so we're going to do everything we can to make sure we talk all the time and share our pictures and our drawings you can come up by me for easter and for the whole next week while you're on vacation this doesn't mean that i love you any less or that i don't want to be near you. i want more than anything in the world to be near you, but i also have to make sure that we're all taken care of for a long long time and the best way for me to do that is to go to nj and find a good job. so, +/-, that's pretty much what i've got. is this the sort of thing that should be interfered with? am i damaging her forever? and with less sarcasm, does anyo

• Answer:

  To be honest I can see it from both sides. understand you want a better life for your family financially and I think its nice your considering that but children at that age don't really understand money and would prefer you spending the time with them, then material things. But at the end of the day its your decision, and a tough one at that.