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Should I be concerned with my 4-year-olds progress?

I am concerned for my son. He is a loner and thinks social interaction is bad?

  • My son is 14 years old, and ever since he went back to school two years ago, he has become very reclusive and sort of a workaholic. I originally homeschooled him for 6 years after 2 years in a public school, and he progressed very well during that time, and from an academic standpoint, he does extremely well. 95% across the board. While he was homeschooled, he did not have many friends, but whenever he went to an activity, he didn't have any problem making new friends, he just chose not to stay in contact with them. He has no problem staying in contact with people for practical purposes, just for social ones. I sent him to school in grade 8, hoping that he would become more social. I thought that having a larger set of possible friends would help, but instead of doing something with his friends on weekends or after school, he spends the time on his personal projects. Past Projects: Essay contests. Higher level math (This one was messed up by his grade 8 Math teacher, who said that he was not good enough to understand math. He took that one badly.) Notes for chemistry in 2013 grade 11 Science fair Current Projects: Learn Java Learn German Learn 3D Animation Notes for Physics and Biology for grade 11 Design a submarine. Build a website for a political candidate Design said candidates campaign strategy Enter Google Science Fair next year He is working on all of these simultaneously and is making significant progress in each. I think it is a bit excessive considering that it is summer, and I think he will burn out eventually. He only sleeps 6 hours a night and even less during school and he "progresses" every minute of the day that he can. I have asked him about it, and he said that interaction with others that does not allow me to progress more efficiently or effectively is irrational. Not a effective use of time he says. "Dating is irrational since you are not attracted to the person. Nature is tricking you into thinking that you are attracted to the person. You say love is such a great thing. It is really just a drugged state." He wrote this for his health class. Teacher brought it to my attention. Anyway, how can I get him to get off the high-speed train and enjoy life? Should I have him medicated?

  • Answer:

    Don't you dare medicate him. He doesn't need medication, he's just a socially awkward teenager who would rather spend his time working (doing something worthwhile) than ogling the skanky girls that go to his school. Why is there something wrong with that? If you're worried about him, talk to him. Don't just randomly put him on medication, that's stupid. Besides, they don't make medication that makes a kid act like a "normal" teenager if there's nothing wrong with him in the first place. It sounds to me like working is his way to enjoy life. It's not work if it's something you like to do. Let him work. If he's not out hurting people, drinking, or doing drugs, then what's the problem?

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Well, you should definitely not have this proto-genius "medicated", nor should force him into interaction with the jocks and jills of his own age who obviously don't appreciate him and who would just bore him and maybe even get him into trouble. Is there a robot-making group of nerds in his home town where he might feel more welcome? His attitude to romantic love seems well grounded in science (sounds like the teacher is scientifically illiterate, and just freaked at the mention of 'drugs'), but his skepticism is probably one outwardly shared by many 14 year old boys - by the time he gets to university he may well be laughing about his old attitudes once he finds someone there. What he does probably need to do is to rationalise and focus his personal workload. Learning 3D animation is years of work and he might restrict it to learning just enough to animate his design for a submarine, which could itself be merged into a design concept (rather than a full-blown plumbing design, etc) to enter into the Google Science Fair. The political website and campaign could be merged into learning German, since he might do it for an imaginary (or even real) candidate in Germany, hence the website would have to be written in German. The Java learning might be focussed initially just on producing technical animations for his Physics and Biology class demos? But really, he _is_ enjoying life, but it's the life of the mind, which is just as valid as hanging out with the jocks at the sports field or the heavy-metal goths at the comics shop.

No! Let him be, he may understand later in life.

He sounds like a smart kid. Not everyone is the same. My son is the same way. I call him the old man in a boys body. He will be just fine.

If u really wanted to put him on medication..u could. but i woold suggest that u dont. this is partially because he had been homeschooled for awhile. It is also that he just sees and understands the world differently from other people. try intoducing him to things the normal teenager would do. im not recommending drugs though. this might work. there could also be something bothering him that he doesnt realize or ever want to talk about. try talking to him about that and see what happens. If there isnt anything bothering him... he might just want life to be that way..dont forget that he might also grow out of this.

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