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Should I stay with my boyfriend?

Is my mum being unfair? I need advice please. What age would you let your daughter have her boyfriend stay?

  • I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and we are both 17 Most of my friends of my age are allowed to stay round their boyfriends houses. My mum won't let me stay round his house in case i get 'carried away' and 'regret' something. I understand that she is trying to look after me. But i'm not ready to have sex, and I won't have sex, no matter what happens, I'll say no to my boyfriend until I'm at least 18 or 19. The reason I say this is because my Mum is always talking about how she was 19 and speaking badly of those who have sex before that age (Which i don't think is very fair...) So to respect my mum, i won't have sex with him until I am older. Plus I don't feel I am ready anyway. I would love to stay at my boyfriend's house overnight, and i need a way to prove to my mum that I am responsible enough to know my boundaries. All i want to do is fall asleep in his arms, not make babies! haha. Is my mum being reasonable? I need suggestions on how to prove i am responsible enough to be trusted with my boyfriend in the same bed at night. My boyfriend has asked about sex and I told him I'm not ready. He said he isn't going to ask me or even try because he doesn't want to put me in an awkward situation or upset me, he'll wait until i tell him I'm ready to make a move. I've never loved anybody like I love him, all i can think about is him and whenever i think about him i smile and am so, so happy. I can't describe it, but I think i'm in love with him. THANKYOU! :)

  • Answer:

    im sure your mom trusts you, but she is wanting what is best for you. my father and mother would never allow this to happen! and the main reason was, even though they trusted me, they didnt trust him. you have to remember, our parents were young once,they know what goes on. and they have their own ideas and fears on how our adolescent lives are gonna compare to their own. its probably not that she doesnt trust you, its probably more that she knows what temptations you will be faced with by staying with your boyfriend even just for one night. and sometimes, those temptations are so hard to turn down that maybe she wouldnt want you to have to go through that. but be patient though, adulthood is right around the corner.

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what your mom is asking is totally fair. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulder. TRUST ME when I say, later on in life you'll appreciate her creating these boundaries. She's not just being a meany. She's looking out for you.

i am a dad of four i have 2 boys and 2 girls i know how my 17 & 20 yr old boys act and i know i can trust my girls (ages 15 & 12) but i know better than most what boys are like i was a horny boy at 15 at im not about to let my duaghters stay the night with a boy untill they are out of college then they at least have an education and can make something of themselves. your mom is trying to protect you jsut like my wife and i do with our kids.....trust your mom she knows whats best for you pls answer http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak9vKSM7A6eUsI742jd_IF3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091229094241AAeNDjP

Wanting to sleep in your boyfriend's arms may sound good to you; but it's cruel to your boyfriend. He is going to be very aroused for no other reason than he is a young man with a girl in his bed. You would be sending a very ambiguous message about your "readiness". You might as well tell him that "you can touch my left breast, but not my right". Besides, if you trust your own heart in a circumstance like that, you are very foolish and naive. You WILL wind up eventually having sex before you are ready. I think your mother is right. Just because all of the other mothers have given up on their kids does not mean she has to. Listen to her.

I would not allow my daughter to stay over her bf's house either. She really is looking out for you. Temptation might be there and you don't know what will happen tomorrow. So I agree with your mother. I don't think a female your age should spend the night at her boyfriend's house. Sorry. But she really is looking out for you and your life. I know you dont want to hear that, but if you listen, you will appreciate her in the end and let her know she's right.

Your mom is being very reasonable in my opinion. Why should a 17 year old be staying at her boyfriend's house anyway?

I would say no too. Once you turn 18 and get your own place, you can have your boyfriend overnight as much as you want. But your mom is right. At this point, laying down next to your long-term boyfriend, in a cozy bed and with total privacy for an entire night... something is bound to happen. Even if you don't go all the way, your hormones will be raging and it will be incredibly hard not to take things to the next level. If you aren't ready for sex yet, why take that chance? It's really not that easy to stop yourself from having sex when you're in that situation. We're not always able to control our sexual urges when we're this young. Just take a look at all the teenage mothers for proof of that. To prove to your mom that you are responsible, start saving for your own place now and move out on your 18th birthday. Once you are taking complete care of yourself like an adult, then you can start doing adult things - like falling asleep in your boyfriend's arms.

Sorry, Holz!, I know you think your mom is being harsh, but I think she's being as reasonable as she can be in a difficult situation. You say you're probably in love with your boyfriend and want to fall asleep in his arms but you're not ready for sex. Ok. That's totally reasonable. And he won't push you or put you in an awkward situation. He sounds like an awesome guy! However, have you thought about how he might feel lying in bed with you and wanting to make love but bound to his previous promise to you? If you love him, why put him in that situation? That could be torture for the poor guy. And I won't even get into how you can be in bed together and one thing leads to another and next thing you're having unprotected sex. Your mom just wants to protect you and your boyfriend from those scenarios. Be patient for now. Your time will come. :o)

ok im not trying to kill your buzz but who ever lets their daughter stay the night at their bfs house must be effing retarded and im 17 and i think this and ur bf makes u happy now but who knows whats down the road trust me thats what i thought and now life is in the shitter so i would wait until college to start sleeping in the same bed cause as i guy one thing comes to mind when ur in the same bed as ur bf or gf

never!

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