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Is this report on zebras good for a 12 year old?

Should I report this family situation? 12 sisters alone...?

  • i know this story seems far fetched and made up but stay with me. my 14 year old son made this new friend who I personally do not like at all. she has a horrible mouth, gets into a lot of trouble, and just has a bad attitude. I called to talk to her parents about some serious issues that were arising with her and my son, and come to find out, she doesn't have any parents, she has a 20 year old sister as her "guardian". after discovering this, i started asking my son about her family situation and what he told me is really messed up. there are 12 sisters, the youngest being only 3 years old, and they all live together in 2 apartments (side by side). the family is so large because its a step family (some girls were his, some were hers, after marriage more were born) and also a few of the girls had been distant cousins adopted in or something like that. their mother passed away a year ago from cancer and their father is some kind of military man (up high in rank so he can afford so many kids), never home because he couldn't take the grief of losing another wife and 12 kids alone. he's always on active duty overseas because he chooses to be there rather than here with his children (AS HE SHOULD BE). he signed custody to 5 of the underage girls to his 20 year old daughter and custody of the other 5 girls to his 23 year old step daughter. now 6 of them live in a 2 bedroom apartment and the other 6 live in the apartment right next door. the father takes care of them 100% financially but otherwise from what i can see these children are a wreck, all 12 of them (20 and 23 years old is NOT old enough to be dealing with THAT kind of responsibility). there is no possible way that they are getting the physical, emotional, spiritual, and academic help that they need. there has got to be some other kind of family member out there or multiple family members that can raise these girls properly. if this 14 year old trainwreck (who i believe is doing drugs) that hangs out around my son is ANY representation of what the other girls are like i'm surprised their neighbors or landlord hasn't reported them. my son said that this girl is his best friend and he would never forgive me if I forbid him to hang out with her anymore but I have to think about him first and foremost and the influence that this little brat and her family has on him. I am his authority and I don't want him thinking that just because they all run around with no rules, barefoot and screaming, that he can do the same. i need advice on what to do. should i call in and report the situation and get these little girls some help before they turn into teenage nightmare like the older girls are? should I go against my sons wishes and hope he thanks me one day for trying to protect him? thank you.

  • Answer:

    I dont understand your sense of reasoning at all. You see,if their father gets back,automatically ending his career,he won't be able to provide his daughters their basic needs,so they will either die of hunger,or suicide. Things look better as they are,better not to make matters worse.

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No, mind your own business if YOU personally have not witnessed abuse or neglect stay out of it. ( fake ?? )

they are breaking no rules-theres nothing for you to report-what? kids are depressed by their life--you would have to call on the whole neighborhood....they are doing the best they can like many families-your solution is to school and take care of your kid--if they arent abused, underfed or neglected what will you say to authorities-i dont like my son hanging around a bad influence-join the club

Sure. Tell him to focus on school first rather than a relationship. Or wait until high school at least.

As bad as it seems, no I don't think you should report them, it could tear that family apart. I myself am only 15 nearing 16 in 2 weeks, but look after my 4 younger sisters (aged 13, 10, 1 and 8 weeks) for a lot of the time. My step mum doesn't care about my 2 half sisters(the youngest 2) and especially my 2 full sisters. My dad works too many hours too look after them/us all and rarely sees any of them other than me as they're asleep when he comes in, so while ny step mums out(most of the time) I look after my sisters, as well as being in the middle of my gcses yet I'm still a straight A student. If anyone reported us, it would kill both me, my dad and all my sisters, particually the 1 year old who I have a very special bond with. Don't get involved with situations you're not in. It's just how life is sometimes. It might seem bad to you but its just how some people have to live. If they were reported, all those kids would be split up into homes. Sometimes family really is the most important thing. As for your son, you can't stop him being her friend. And if every parent thought like you imagine how that poor girl would feel. It's most likely not her fault that she's how she is. Imagine having a life like hers, then getting all the judgement from you and others like you. You never know, your son might change her for the good.. never judge a book by its cover.

I understand what you're thinking about the whole situation and agree to an extent. I do think it is a big responsibility for to 20 years old's to have to take care of 12 children altogether. The dad is supporting them financially which is great, but as for the girls underlying fundamental as far as love and care goes may not be strong. I can imagine how both of the girls who are supposed to be taking care of them may be going through just to support all of them as loving, caring, and academically wise goes. Since the older girls are adults legally they have the right to take care of the children. Unless they are not being fed or are in someway being abused emotionally or physically you don't have a reason to do anything. Even though they need structure from someone, which should be the two oldest girls it is obviously is not happening, you can't really report anything or do anything. You can forbid your son from not meeting with her, but it may not help any of the situation. The girl seems to have enough of troubles, who knows maybe she just needs a friend?

You can't always be on active duty. You HAVE to have breaks. That sounds like he's just not coming back.

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