My daughter is getting married, should we offer financial assistance?

If you fear she will be offended, then offer it as an early wedding gift. Who could turn down a check in a beautiful wedding card . . . with a note, "We love you both and are so excited about the upcoming wedding. Here is an early wedding gift for you. Love, Mom and Dad." Then they can use your check as they best see fit, for wedding expenses or to pay off education loans. If you offer it freely . . . as a gift . . . and without any questions about their finances, then I don't think you will have any problems.

Of course you should offer. Just be tactful about it. Let her know that you are proud that she is getting married and that is just a wedding gift. Don't be bossy!

I would tell her the offer is on the table and she can come to you if she would like. This way you're not forcing money on her, you';re leaving the decision with her, but you're still getting your offer across.

You should offer but, don't make her feel uncomfortable about it. Maybe you can try by saying that the brides parents traditionally pay for the wedding and you are excited for her and would love to help IF she would allow it. Also, you can mention to her that you are proud of her for being so independent and let her know that it would be an HONOR if she would ALLOW you to HELP.

Definitely offer to pay for her wedding. If she is the only daughter you have explain that you never had paid for her education and now as parents you feel is your duty to pay for her wedding. What a remarkable young lady you have! Maybe if you feel comfortable with your future son in law explain to him that you like to contribute so if your daughter refuses money he'll know is not due to your refusal to help

I left my parents' house at 18, and they think I've fallen into the pit of hell or something. By marrying my fiance, I will seal the deal in their minds. They helped me with $2,100 of my total college education, and I took care of the rest. I wish they had offered to help me get through school and pay for this upcoming wedding, but they wanted to help me only if I did exactly what they wanted and went to Bob Jones University. It sucks. So I guess I'm saying that I think you SHOULD offer to help with your daughter's and son's-in-law-to-be wedding. Maybe tell her what I told you--that some parents leave their children high and dry without ever offering to help, and you thought you'd like to pitch in if you can. Your daughter is blessed to have you and your husband.

You state """ I don't think they have saved enough for an entire wedding."""" Is this the type of wedding you would like her to have - OR what she & her fiance would like to have??? Having an expensive / flash wedding does NOT make a person any more married than having a simple intimate celebration. AS others have suggested - do offer to help ; NO STRINGS / conditions. You could say something like "" Jane ; is there anything we can do to contribute to your celebration? Pay for venue/ cake/ photographer? We would like to do this as our gift to you to have the celebration that you want.""" YOU as her mother could even offer to pay for her gown as a gift from mother to daughter. BUT if she accepts than & finds something that she absolutely loves & is only say $300-- & not thousands then YOU must accept that - DONT try to talk her into an expensive gown just because you can afford to pay for it. Then leave it at that. I make wedding dresses & have seen many instances where the bride is getting quite distressed , as the parents are trying impose their wishes on the couple. My own daughter got married 10 years ago , & told us it was happening in 5 weeks after they had made the arrangements the previous weekend. They first rang & then sent written invites to the people they wanted to attend. They told their guests - we would like you to share our day ; but in lieu of gifts we would appreciate you paying for your own meal. Their reception was held at a restaraunt that they booked for the occassion. ALL their guests were happy with that, My daughter was glowing at 7.30am when I first saw her on the day. The ceremony commenced at 11 am & she was still glowing at 6pm. She & her man had the celebration they wanted. All that is needed for a couple to be married is for them to comply with the legal requirements of the country. In most cases this is :- Bride Groom authorised celebrant witnesses ***** anything else is ''trimming''

I don't mean to stick my nose in here, but it seems as though her behavior MUST have been triggered by something. At least, in my own experience, my parents tend to have a lot of strings attached with things. Is it possible that's the reason she's been so resistant? I would at least offer. But, at the same time, if she only has enough money saved for a small wedding that will have to be ok. Take her to lunch and just say "You are our daughter and it would make us very happy to help you pay for your wedding. If you won't take a check, can we please buy you your dress/veil/booze/food/cake/whatever as a wedding gift." Sometimes that approach is better because it's one specific thing rather than a big check to cover everything. Just be sure to remember that just because you are buying the dress, you don't get to pick out the dress. Or choose the cake. Or decide which caterer to use.

Just tell her in keeping with the traditional ways when the parents of the bride paid for the wedding you would like to do this for her & if she tells you she don't want it to be traditional way then offered her an early wedding gift to use as she see appropriate..Good luck & congrats