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Whats wrong with me? is this depression?

• i know this is long, but please help, id really appreciate your input. im not really sure whats wrong with me: i never feel like going out with my friends anymore, i am constantly forcing myself to hang out with people. to be honest, i dont really even like most of my friends, i dont hate them or talk behind their backs or anything like that, to me theyre just people that call me their friend and that i can stand being around longer than others. i dont really feel like i care about anyone or anything, but this is nothing new to me. ive always been an extremely apathetic person. i used to be able to act "normal" and have a personality around people but now i cant even put up an act, its like i dont have a personality anymore, and i feel awkward around people that know me because i feel like theyve noticed changes. i think i care about myself though, or im trying to at least. ive noticed that im rarely ever hungry anymore and i hate it, i try to eat as much and as often as i think i should to stay healthy but it just feels like a chore more than anything now. some nights i cant sleep and i will literally just lay in bed for hours until i finally admit to myself that my so-called technique of laying in the dark with my eyes closed isnt working. and some days when ive had a full night's sleep, ill wake up for a few hours in the morning and fall back asleep, and somehow, this is repeated the rest of the day. i end up taking several naps throughout the day. i get these random headaches almost everyday, and i know it isnt because of food since i have been feeding myself 2 or 3 meals a day. i attend college and have a job. i have good grades, my job's pay is good and i dont hate either of these things either, but id rather be at home. i just dont feel like i am happy. im all bummed out most of the time even though i dont feel like i have a bad life or anything like that, my life is actually pretty good, so why arent i happy? and why dont i ever feel any emotions for anyone or anything?? im sorry, i know this probably sounds dumb but the only way i can describe exactly what i feel, the only thing i ever feel is nothing. can this be clinical depression because im bummed out for absolutely no reason? whats wrong with me, how can i fix this?? btw, i smoke more weed now because its the only thing that seems to help with all of this. i feel good when im high, i actually get hungry, makes my headaches go away, puts me to sleep when i cant, and allows me to have fun around people sometimes. it even allows me to feel certain emotions if im high enough, like sympathy, i can actually cry if a movie is sad or something. but after the high is gone im right back where i started. but i usually only smoke when i feel i need to, i never get a craving to do so. if you read this far, thank you. and if you cant come up with anything helpful to say, thanks anyways. no one ive talked to in person has been able to either.

• Answer:

  First of all, the weed isn't helping. Drugs throw off your system much more than people realize and makes it harder for the body to process emotions and such. If you want to feel better, stop smoking weed and see a doctor about the possibility of having clinical depression. I highly recommend: 1. Stop smoking weed, doing any other drugs (including cigarettes) and refrain from alcohol 2. Set yourself a routine to follow that will keep you from becoming to lax to enjoy life. 3. Find something new and exciting to learn or to play to keep your mind active. 4. Try meeting new people, specifically optimistic ones to keep your mood high. 5. See a doctor if you continue to feel the same way. God loves you!