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Feeling sick, but I don't know what it's from?

Ive been feeling empty inside for years... i dont know what to do.. PLEASE HELP!?

  • Im 23m. I constantly feel like i have nothing going for myself and i dont see myself succeed in the future. I see myself failing at everything i do, and i try to do many things. I guess you can say i'm a "jack of all trades but a master of none".. I just feel like im getting close to the end of my road Im currently a college student full time and work part time. Problem is, ive been a student for 4 years and have only completed 1. I have no motivation whatsoever. Whenever i do go to class i only go because its part of my schedule but I usually choose not to go, resulting in my extended enrollment. Im paying for school out of my own pocket and I'm by no means well off, but i just simply dont care... or i force myself not to think about it (put on the back burner). I honestly cant think of why i dont care.. or rather a reason to care. Well whatever... i have a lot of issues. Probably minor issues in many different eyes but they're pretty crippling for me. The biggest issue i have right now is that i cant seem to maintain relationships... friends and otherwise.. I still have a best friend out of four original best friends. One of them my ex girlfriend cheated on me with (i was too naive to think that could happen btwn them), another had a drug issue he couldnt admit to having..something that went on for over a year until i gave up simply because I couldnt make him quit until he realised he had an issue and he felt the need to stop. and the other friend. Life story coming up.. hopefully not... Anyway.. I'm slowly alienating myself from everyone and i feel like **** for it, but at the same time, i dont see a good reason to stop this. I know it makes me feel like crap not being able to call someone whenever i feel like venting, expressing my feelings, etc.. but im still not doing anything about it. Maybe its because im getting used to spending a lot of time alone, not having anyone to talk to... Thats easier to do than to go out and do something.. and i dont have to rely on anyone to do it.. MY BIGGEST ISSUE, I feel... Ive also been single for prob two years now, and thats all thanks to my sluts of ex-girlfriends. My self confidence is at a rock bottom and it feels like it getting worse every day. Its so bad that I can even bring myself to be the first to say hi to girls i know. Mind you a few years back I couldve had any girl i wanted and now I cant even get myself a date... Every girl ive met has ended up being a slut.. I can usually tell within about a week or a month if its not immediately apparent. And these girls are usually friends of friends and so on.. I'm not looking for a wife or anyone to move in with... all i want is someone to share my time with.. someone to laugh with.. someone to sleep with (obviously).. someone that cares about me... most importantly, someone i can trust.. I just cant seem to be able to find that woman... yea im still young and there are plenty of fish blah blah... i just dont know anymore.. i simply give up. i have no one............... how do you motivate yourself? how do you build self confidence? how do you walk with your back straight and your head high? i was thinking of the armed forces but that would suck for many reasons which need not be explained.. either way.. please no negativity.. dont need it. thanks

  • Answer:

    You've really put yourself in a box. Read your first paragraph over again: "I constantly feel like i have nothing going for myself and i dont see myself succeed in the future. I see myself failing at everything i do," You begin right at the start with an expectation of failure, and then you go on for several paragraphs to justify that failure, blaming yourself, your friends, and your girlfriends. You need to do some serious re-evaluating of your personal skills and strengths. Normally I would suggest also looking at your weaknesses, but you are already too focused on these, so you should concentrate on taking an inventory of your strengths only. If you're paying for school out of your own pocket, then take a hiatus from college. You can always return later. Take yourself out of your insular world and direct your energies outward. Move to a different town. Do volunteer work at an animal shelter or at a home for the elderly. Backpack across Europe. Do SOMETHING that challenges you emotionally and physically. Apply to be on a reality TV show. Find something outrageous that you're sure you could NEVER do...and then do it. Look, you're totally preoccupied with your limitations and the failings and weaknesses of those around you. You're not going to acquire positive self-esteem and self-confidence by sitting around and wishing for it. You have to make it happen. You know as well as I do that you have the capability to make the changes in your life that are needed. But you will have to make some changes. They won't come by themselves. But if you've already given up, there's not much anyone else is going to be able to say or do that's going to lift you up. You have to reach deep down inside and find the strength to push yourself in the right direction. I'm not being negative here. I sincerely have great hopes for you. You're young and obviously very intelligent. You have a lot of insight into your situation. But you've chosen to focus only on the negatives while you ignore the positives. Start making changes today. And good luck!

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I can understand what you are saying, i have been in a similar boat to you my friend, and it saddens me when i read about others feeling and suffering pain how i did. It will be hard for you to motivate yourself while you have this black cloud hanging over your head. You are simply going to have to fight it. It's best to take it one step at a time, realistically, but you 'have' to do this and get through it. Your well being both mentally and physically is paramount!! In terms of college, you need to think about your future, and where you want to be, think about your goals and just succeeding. The only way you will get where you want to be in life is by completing and finishing your course.Picture and imagine how great and full filled you will feel once you have done that. That, alone, will lift your spirits and increase your self confidence. Trust me. It's good that you have a part time job. Some people don't even have that. As for these sluts, as you call them, (and i'm sure they are too!) don't let them put you off girls forever!!! Not all women act this way, maybe you want to try dating different girls, as it would appear there's a pattern. You're just meeting the wrong one's...Have a little more faith. See this as a simple 'stage' in your life in which you are going through, a dry patch, as it were. You aren't alone remember. Everyone goes through this at least a few times in their life times. Try joining a gym, now that's a great place to meet new people, and i feel this could be your key to get out of this misery. Also exercise, be it cardio workouts or weight training, both, either/or will help ease your depressive state, and boost your confidence, especially as you begin to look and feel better physically. Trust me. It has helped me in the past. Just give yourself a little push in the right direction, you are worth it. Best of luck, and take care.

Look, I for sure would LOVE to meet a guy I can trust. I've had a bad run with my two ex boys, who just didn't give a stuff about me, truly. The thing is there ARE girls out there that do want a relationship and have values of monogamy. All you gotta do is get among people who share the same interests as you. I'm sure you have something you are interested in. You DO have friends who must have something you both enjoy. Such as a concert? An opening for some show, art, film, etc? People there mingle with social drinks. First you gotta look within yourself, as you have a force within you to live!! It's natural. You have qualities no one else on this earth has except you! Isnt that killa! You can be proud of that and go motivate yourself to go and do what you desire. It is totally possible to acqire your dreams...in the most realistic means possible. Quit focusing on the past and let time heal you from your crap ex. You will get over it. You can screw with the slut girls minds, or if you dont want to waste your time with that, just ignore them. Anyway, all you need is time to heal and to mingle with positive, happy, optimistic and goal oriented people. You have your whole life ahead of you. Perhaps a change in lifestyle? Saving up money to travel? You have so many options. Only YOU know deep down what you want. Take it Easy.

Ok honey, seriously. I felt like this for years. Just horrible about everything. I had long mousy brown hair and was grossly skinny and felt really gross inside and out. I got all my hair cut off, bleached it, bought a load of new clothes and music and made new friends. I started a new job and met people through there. You know when you see someone looking at you in public? THATS A GOOD THING. When that happens, you should feel happy they're looking. I know I'm a girl but I walk as if I'm confident, dress as if im confident and then I feel it. People are like lions, they smell fear. If you meet a girl and seem really jittery, they'll know. Have a few drinks, go to the pub with a friend/brother/friend of friend and be confident =] you sound like a great guy so i doubt you'll have any problems.

The fact you say no negative thoughts is great! It shows your ready to start thinking positive. The first steps would be to get out there and meet new people (happy and postive people). Try a new activity, sometimes at school / college / university you get so caught up studying you forget about hapiness and how to interact socially. Try something new and try meeting new people.

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