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Im a 17 year old guy, i am worred about my school work and my life, I think I am gay, im scared & I feel down?

  • Hey, I am a 17 year old guy, in High school. I am having a few problems at school, and today its just reallly gotten to me, and I dont know what I should do. Im just really depressed and sad about all thats happening with me, so I guess I need some advice, I need to get all this sorted and back on track. Let me explain whats going through my mind at the Moment. Firstly , I have lost my uncle recently, he died two weeks ago and I am really Upset about this. Its come as a shock to me, and I wish it just didnt happen. Its just hurt me. In school, I am failing almost all my subjects, I dont know whats happened to me, I used to be a top A student, but until this year , things have flopped and I am failing, Im not very good at my english, I am barely passing chemistry and art, and I have had to drop to lower maths ( which has upset me recently because i am getting extra tuition in this and now that i have dropped, i feel I have failed my parents and my teacher, ) I am afraid that now with lower maths I wont be able to get into university. I feel That I am failing all my subjects, and that I am not going to be able to go to university and that I wont do well in my final exams. I am now really worried about this as I have less then a year to turn things around. I dunno what to do? I have been having feelings for a guy in school, who I really like a lot, he is just so beautiful and nice, and every time I see him I feel something strong that no other person has ever made me feel. I am worried about being gay and not ever been able to have a family in my life (which is my dream), I am worried about people finding out, people bullying me and people hurting me if they figured out,, i really want to tell him, but I cant. Im just afraid If I told him , he would tell someone and it would spread and I would get hurt. I wrote a question about him before http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind… . I feel that I am also realy ugly and conscious about the way I look all the time now, when I was younger I got bullied for the way I look, and I am conscious about it now, i feel no-one would ever want to love me. I am really worried about my life and the way things will turn out, i am worried I wont be able to go to university and do the course I dream of doing, im just worried about so much and I am finding it really hard to deal with. I feel I am failing at life and that I am a failure to my parents. I just need advice and help on what to do. This has all really gotten to me.

  • Answer:

    You have a lot going on, a lot of it unrelated, but it all piles up. First off, so what if you are gay? You can still have a great relationship and a family. You may have to adopt, but so what? There are many, many, many same sex couples that have great long term relationships and raise kids. Just like there are lots of heterosexual couples who never have a kid and have very rocky relations. As long as you are happy, that it what really matters, and you need to do what works for you, not your family or society. Your Uncle died. sad, I am sure, but it is a real part of life. Everyone dies. If he was close to you, you may need some counseling to deal with the grief, which is a very normal part of human emotions. You are not the first person to feel this way. As for school, you need to get yourself together and re apply yourself. It sounds like a lot of outside influences may be coming in and distracting you, and the fear of the next step may be keeping you from really concentrating on what you need to do. I suggest counseling for this as well. Good luck. Talk to your parents about maybe going to a counselor to deal with the grief and school issues. As far as being gay, don't worry about anything yet. You are only 17. You have a lifetime to deal with your sexuality. But in the end, if you are gay, you will be much happier out and in a relationship that fulfills you than to live a lie because of external expectations.

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well in the whole uncle dying thing i know how you feel..... its hard to get past losing someone and it always hurts.... it also seems to make life harder and worse but it will pass trust me! about school well first of all even if your parents have high expectations for you doesn't mean you should try to excel for them... do it for yourself you shouldn't feel guilty like your letting your parents down over a low grade you should. and anything is possible if you want to have good grades for yourself and get over the guilt its more likely you'll succeed! about the gay thing... of course its hard to come out of the closet and i'm sure at first you will be made fun of but thats just how people are the majority of humanity has a negative outlook on most situations and its just not about being gay people get ridiculed over all kinds of things like being fat or having bushy eyebrows or huge feet of tiny feet.... but eventually people drop the subject cuz they get bored and probably never even cared in the first place. besides even though coming out is hard its probably a huge relief and feels great anyways... and also you can always adopt a kid that has already been brought into the world without a family..... and about your appearance you can always change how you look the possibilities are endless you can lose weight or gain muscle, dye your hair grow your hair take better care of your skin or whatever no matter what it takes work but most defiantly possible!!!! honestly the answer to your problem is you need to stop caring so much about what the world thinks of you and do everything you do for yourself because in the end your happiness is all that matters people can except you or not but its better then pretending to be someone your not besides worrying like this is probably why your grades have dropped and

I hope very much that you will do this, it is very important to your evolution, there is a way out of human suffering, and there is only one way out, it is called Enlightenment. The sages asked the Buddha what is Enlightenment, all he could answer is this " the end of suffering ". Please, go and buy the book "A New Earth" by Ecart Tolle. It will change your life forever.

These are all very normal feelings that you are having. It sounds like all of your problems are stemming from being scared of being gay, which is very normal. Being gay isn't a bad thing. The world, for the most part, has come along to accept gay people. Is there a GSA (gay straight alliance) at your school? Its worth checking out. Also look online for some local gay support groups. There are NUMEROUS support groups out there that are waiting for kids like you to come so they can help you get your life on track and become a happier person. AND you can meet other gay kids there and not have to worry about them going and telling the world. Coming out, with the right support, will change your life and will make you feel better about yourself. Because once you know who you are, you can start living your life the way you want to and to the fullest. :)

hi

HI! ok. xD Talk with the dude *Imma call him tom ;D* more and get to know Tom., If you think that you're just really good friends then thats alright but if you're gay for him don't tell him right away, wait for a while then when its really bothering you and you think you trust him you can tell him, Plux, about the family, Adoption is available, And about school.. Make study groups and stuff, Or just study harder, If you just got lazy and sad over your Uncle's death you can't let it get with your school work. And...... yeah. thats pretty much it, Its short and pointless but i hope this helps ;D

High school and education will always be difficult. It determines the latter life you'll lead. You need to speak to someone about how you feel, don't keep it bottled up.

your in highschool, which means your gona go through a whole lot. first no one is EVER ugly! no matter what you say about yourself, no one is ugly. the only ugly guy has ever lived was the elephant man, but he was beautiful at heart. and also, your not gay. if you were interested in guys for a while then you may. but MOST high schoolers are very confused about their sexuallity. if you all of a sudden are interested in guys thats because of your harmones and your confused about alot of things. doesnt mean your gay. most highschool gays dont stay gay. which means they were never gay in the first place. they were just confused. so dont take it so hard. Nothing goes your way. im 19 and i felt the same in highschool. besides that i hated girls. i hated men also. everyones different. dont worry too much. your beautiful. dont be afriad to experiment unless its drugs then you should be very afraid!

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