How do I change my personal goal for Relay for Life?

I'm depressed with my life/future right now and I need some helpful advice. What do I do to change myself?

• Okay, so I'm going to explain why I am so down at the moment and maybe you can lend some advice. So I'm 23 years old and I these are my insecurities/worries that are making me depressed. - I haven't got a car and don't drive! - I still live with my parents - I have a non-existent social life - I am unemployed and not in education either - I am single, and have been for nearly all my life - I am slight overweight and self conscious about this. Okay, so above are more or less the reasons why I am feeling so down and depressed right now at this point in my life. I'm 23 and I'm doing absolutely nothing with my life at the moment. I feel like a total loser because so many people my age are in steady, full time jobs, working and going out, socialising and travelling, and just generally having a good time. But me, well I'm doing nothing with my life, nothing worthwhile at all. How do I change this? I am fed up with being this way and it's making me depressed and stressed out, just because I want to change so bad. I am single and have been for nearly all my life. I have trouble meeting girls because I rarely have go out, and my social life is nearly non-existent, apart from the occasional times I do go out and socialise, which isn't much. I believe this is affecting my confidence and I am yet to find a girl because of my insecurities and lack of confidence. Also, I don't drive and I still live at home with parents. This is another factor that plays in my depressive mood! I constantly feel like I'm being judged and that no girl will want to be with me if I don't have a car or my own place. I know this probably isn't true, but what sort of attraction do I give off if I haven't got neither of these things? What girl is going to want to be with a guy who doesn't drive or live on his own? Especially at 23 years old!! The next thing is I'm unemployed, therefore I have no money to go out and socialise. I have no money to do anything or participate in any of the hobbies I would like to do in my spare time. I use what money I get from job seeker allowance to pay for food, clothes, and gym membership. I don't have much left after these things, so I end up going without a social life or/and hobbies. I am not in education either, but I am planning to go to University next month to study Health and Nutrition studies. But even though I have applied to go to University, I still have this niggling thought at the back of my head saying it's a waste of time going to University for 3 years and getting a degree, as I'll be 25 when I graduate and just feel like I'll be too old! I don't know what to think any more. I just feel like we live in a society where we are judged by "what we have" as opposed to "who we are as people" and it's a shame. I feel so much pressure to be "this" way or be "that" way and it's hard to keep up, and I'm not someone who wants to conform to society. It is like, if you haven't achieved something by a certain age, then you're somehow behind in life. Anyway, sorry to blabber on, but I would really appreciate some advice.

• Answer:

  You're still young! 25 is really the perfect time to graduate from college. It sounds like you need some motivation. Try coming up with goals. It helps me to write them in checklist form, so I get the satisfaction of knowing when something is done. As for getting a girl, you just need to meet some. If you live near some sort of club, you can go out and meet people there. Or, if you want, you can meet people on the internet. There are lots of chat rooms out there that cater to specific interests, so if you know what you like, you can meet people who like the same things. College would solve a lot of your problems. You may need to take out a loan, but when you graduate and get a job, you'll be able to pay it off, move out, and get a car. Also, going to college and getting a job is a great way to meet people, so it'll help with your social problems too. As for being overweight, all you can really do that is healthy is exercise plenty and eat a healthy diet. This can be one of your goals too. Be patient; healthy weight loss can be very slow, but it's the only way to keep the pounds off permanently. As for being too old, mid-twenties is not too old for anything. You're in the prime condition right now. If you learn to apply yourself and get out there to meet people and get a job, you'll be much happier. Just having something to do will be a big improvement. It's not gonna be easy, but if you stick with it, your life will be much improved and you'll be happier in the long run.