What is external and internal problems?

Tired of dealing with my dads problems and to much stress in my life. Unsure what to do.?

• This is going to be a very long story about me and the issues that i currently face. I am Eric and 18 year old that is facing alot of stress and issues with my life currently at the moment. Let me just go down on what has happened so far. My dad had back Surgery in 2006 2007 2008 and a neck Surgery in 2009. Most of them where serious where if he didn't get it he likely could have been paralyzed or a quadriplegic. Massive amounts of stress for me due to the risks. December 2010 my mom had a mental breakdown and had to end up in the behavioral health for a couple of days. She came back home a few days letter but i didn't know during those few days what was going on. I was unsure if she was coming home or anything. Of recent the major stress is my life right now is my dad. It seems like he is getting worse off form his back problems that go all the way back to 1980 before i was even born from 2 car accidents where he never got treated property. For around a few months now he has been complaining to me every day of his problems. For no reason he will yell out help but nothing is wrong just his usually problems. he will also say other stuff such as I'm gong to go out. My foot is numb. And then stresses that he is going to loose his social security that he is on for no reason and various other problems about his pain and problems that he faces. Also on top of this having to deal with the stress of several Ambluence trips of him to the ER to try and get medical help and he comes back just saying they made him worse. There also has been 3 events where he was shaking on the bed like he was having a sezure and I almost called 9-1-1 and then he woke up and said he has these violet body shakes for no reason. Somtimes I'm not scared to dealth that it will happen again and think about it and have no idea if it's serious or not. Also there was another incident throat spasm and was gapsing for air for a few seconds. I lost it thew the lamp and broke it and stared to have a break down. Dealing with him talking to me about his problems every day for hours is getting to the point where I just want to isolate myself in my room and block everybody out for several hours. I believe that over this issue I've developed serious depression. Also in 2009 till now I've had Anxiety problems over the stress. They are better now but where horrible in 2009 during the stress of his problems. That year is when we lost our car and unable to afford a new one as the one that broke wasn't worth repairing as there was so much stuff wrong with it. I need to return back to high school and do another year as I'm short on credits. I don't even want to return to school as of this stress just sometimes makes me not care anymore and I'm like screw it. I have a short fuse and have punched the wall several times to try and relieve stress. Also sometimes I don't' even want to get up out of bed and function. I had help back in 2010 but lost it due to insruance problems. I am unable to afford the serivces. I also need to get to a dentistt as i have cavites on my top teeth that need to be fixed but i have no insurance as you can see. Don't take this the wrong way about my dad. I know that he cares alot and i wish i could do something to make his chronic pain and back problems better. Sometimes I'm so considered about him that I have no energy anymore to do anything. Over all this stress I have no idea what to do with my life. i've never been a normal person. I have no friends since about age 15. Nobdoy really to talk to about my problems. I am also extemebly depressed Right now my life is get up, listen to my dads problems, eat foods, isolate myself so i don't have to deal with it , eat some more food more isolation and then go to bed and repete the cycle. Once school starts back up for me I guess i will be going to school. And other topic is that my school thinks i'm an IEP student which makes me very pissed. I can go on and on about my problems that I face but you have a good idea of what is going on in my life. Do you have any suggestions for me?

• Answer:

  Dear One, You certainly do have a lot going on right now. Losing your temper is from "stuffing your stuff" - pretending that everything is ok with you, instead of voicing your opinions and feelings. It sounds like you might be developing some depression which also causes anxiety. Prolonged exposure to stress can develop into depression. I recommend that you talk asap to a school counselor. It is free and you might get some ideas from your counselor. If you don't like one counselor, you can change to another one - it is your right to do this. Find someone you trust and relate to and someone who will listen and help you take some action in your best interest and your father's best interest. Go back to school. It is hard to operate in this world without a high school diploma. Finish up your credits. Your father seems to have many concerns and he should see his doctor for an overall visit. Go with him and address your concerns to the doctor. This should help you. His doctor needs to know all that has gone on with your father. Maybe you could ask the doctor if you can talk with him any time about your father. This way, the doctor is informed when you have to call 911 or go to the ER. Maybe talking with the doctor will help your father become more informed about his condition so he won't have to go the the ER and call 911 so often. Maybe your doctor could help him if he knows what is going on. Many clinics have pain psychologists now. I am not trying to give you more work to do. I am giving suggestions so you can try to lessen the stress on you. Your father could be an advocate for himself, instead of draining you. To help you with your anger and depression, there is a great book called People Skills, by Dr. Bolton. This book helps us with assertiveness skills, which is a new way to communicate and expressing your feelings. This book also teaches many social and coping skills. It is an excellent book and you would probably enjoy reading it. I wish you the very best in every thing. Take good care of yourself.